Some Videos

Beckham is especially...

hot when he is mad!

For the love of my life

Que, que fue lo que paso

De donde viene esa tristeza

Si tienes mi promesa que yo

Jamas te dejar'

Tu sabes bien como te quiero

En tierra, mar y cielo.

Y quiero ser tu mejor amigo

Llevame dentro de tu ser

Y adonde tu vayas, voy contigo

Mi alma a tu lado ir, te seguir

Conmigo siempre estar, donde tu estas.

Se, que mucho triunfaras

Y al mundo agarrar s sin miedo

Es todo lo que espero de ti

Es la fe que tengo en ti

De mi tienes toda confianza

Tu fuerza es mi esperanza.

Y quiero ser tu mejor amigo

Llevame dentro de tu ser

Y adonde tu vayas, voy contigo

Mi alma a tu lado ir, seguir

Conmigo siempre estar, donde tu estas.

Olvida las penas, rompe las cadenas

Que yo siempre estare, cerca de ti

Y quiero ser tu mejor amigo

Llevame dentro de tu ser.

Y adonde tu vayas voy contigo

Mi alma a tu lado ir, te seguir

Tu padre siempre estar donde tu estas.

Padre siempre estar' donde tu estas.

This is my new baby, See the old with the new there together? I am having on this keyboard but there is no reason to since it is the same size but without the number pad. ha ha user error! I am using it now and the screen is amazing, I watched a video I took of Beckham being mad and it looked amazing!

Nighttime is falling

The blissful darkness. I really enjoy these nights. I can't wait until it is cold enough to enjoy the fireplace. Eric and I agreed we needed a fireplace and we use it every chance we get. I love when it is pouring rain and the kids and I get hom and have a nice warm fire by the time Eric gets home from work. Ahhh, warming your toes in front of the fireplace. Or waiting to see if the stupid long hair cat catches fire as she is RIGHT in front of the fire. (there are bets on that!) The long sunlight days are great in that the kids play outside and run around a lot. But the darkness has my heart. I think because we are night owls over here (minus Diego...he's working on it) and we aren't those people who get tired just because it is dark outside. I think I wake up as the evening goes. If I could decide my own day. I would sleep in until about 10:30 everyday...lazy around and head to work about 4 and work, work, work. It is too bad that we have to follow a clock instead of allowing our ourselves to perform at our best when it works for us. Better yet, I think one of those jobs where you have to work 40 hours per week but you can break it down however you want. Two 20 hour days. ha ha

Still hurting

My back STILL hurts. I think this is the worst yet. 5 days later I am feeling okay if I don't really move too much. I work tomorrow but at least my work chair doesn't hurt. Eric and the kids are going to meet the La Galaxy players. Lucky!

Out of commission

argh I hurt my back on Sunday. I finally got to lay down about 2pm. Stayed there until about 5pm on Monday. I feel a bit better now, but not too much. I think I keep forgetting how old I am!

It's not true! But it is.

When my father first passed away. I had dream after dream that it wasn't true. People would tell me he didn't really die. It was just a joke. In my dreams, I knew it was true because I thought to myself that my dad's wife, Gabby, could never fake that. I just knew it.

It didn't matter that I saw my Dad dead. The most horrible moment in my life is not when I walked into that room to see his lifeless body there with the tube coming out of his throat. It was the moment I laid my head on his chest and thought "Why isn't he touching me" Oh my God. He will never again reach up and put his hand on my head. He won't hug me. He won't laugh again. He won't...anything.

I still can't talk about that moment. How difficult that was. Actually saying the words of how I felt, impossible.

Last night I had another. It was different. It involved more people. It involved Eric's Aunt and Uncle who live across the street from my Dad. His Aunt is the one who called me and told her there was an ambulance at his house.

The dream was, again, all these people telling me that he hadn't really died. It was a prank. He was alive and well. It couldn't be I cried. Impossible. My dad would NEVER do that to me. He would never allow me to suffer to much for six years. My dad wouldn't let six years go by and not contact me. So there I was. Walking down his street.

He is standing at his car putting something in the trunk. WHAT? He looks at me and shrugs as if to say "oops". WHAT?! I run away screaming. Crying. Eric's Aunt and Uncle telling me how he had to do it. I was hysterical.

Then I woke. No answers. No reasons. It was horrible. When I woke I knew it was a dream. I wasn't even crying as I sometimes do. But I thought, why now. Why the change in dream?

I am not sure but I need my head to understand that I don't want these dreams anymore. Give me some memories or something else. Anything else.

I used to think I saw my Dad everywhere when he died. He was the guy walking in our neighborhood I never really noticed before. Someone leaving a building ahead of me. Luckily that doesn't happen anymore. Causing my heart to stop. The tears to flow and for one split second to want to call out "Dad?"