Saturday, December 31, 2005

two thumbs up for Dishnetwork

Eric decided we should go ahead and move up one plan on Dish Network. I went online and added it. I clicked that I actually wanted it and it said please enjoy. I walked over to the TV and clicked on BBC (which we did not previously have) and it was there. Amazing. It added it in a matter of seconds. How cool is that? Now we can watch Monty Python's Flying Circus all night!
Seriously, I think anyone who ever read this blog, or even thought about reading this blog, did so and went to Albertson's the same time I did. The whole parking lot was full. What, does everyone wait until the last minute or what? I mean, I have an excuse, I was napping!


I took my (very short) nap, Bradley is watching TV but everyone else is asleep. Preparing to party all night long, or at least until midnight.

I still have to go to the store to get stuff to make chili (one of my very few specialties) and junk to snack on. How else can you drink, drink, drink if you don't have something in your tummy to absorb it all?

I wish you all a very Happy New Year. Please be safe tonight, especially if you leave your homes. ta!

Friday, December 30, 2005

funny or not?

Eric thinks this is funny. I do not. Here are a few guys playing a joke on their friend making him think he won the lottery (thanks to Tivo). While it is loading, read the info on the right hand side. Let me know what you think. Funny? Not funny?

click me, click me!

psst, it might take a couple minutes to load

Thursday, December 29, 2005

some stuff I like

George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Burning Grilling Machine (what did I do without this before?)

iPod! I have had one for years (I am on number 2 now) but last night at my brothers he kept switching CD's and I thought, I NEVER have to do that. Buy one!

DVD player (any) I don't care what "they say", I say buy all the kid DVD's you can. "They" don't have to watch your children 24/7!

I got a razor from my friend called a Intuition. I love this thing. It has the soap on it so it doesn't wash off between the soaping and the shaving. Believe you me, it takes a lot to get me excited about a razor.

Naps (good one's, not those one's where you wake up feeling all sleepy)

Things I would like:

someone to come and cook and clean for us (besides my teenagers)
ideas for dinner (I gotta stop ordering in or picking up)
some form of exercise that I might actually look forward to (IS there such a thing?)
the gift to spell (so I don't have to rethink whole sentences because I can't even get close enough for spell check to know!)


Well, we have our Dish Network in now. Of course, it is the first day and already Eric is bummed because he can't watch the UCLA game tonight (we didn't get that channel). The guy was nice and wasn't here very long. The picture looks great (did we get a new TV?), but I am sad for my hubby. He likes to watch little else. Sorry babe! (I wish we could have BBC America!)

other bloggers

I read about 20 blogs. Blogs that for the most part, I check daily. It is odd that when I comment on someone's blog, I feel like I know them. I don't mean slightly, but really know them. I mean it really isn't that much of a shock because these are people who write about themselves and what is going on in their lives. Isn't that what your friends do? Only verbally. There are endless blogs to look at. Aside from clicking next blog over and over (which I often do), it is best to check out the bloggers links from their own pages. Usually you will find someone else who writes about similar things. I hope this is making sense, it is 4:47am. Why am I up? Who knows! I think it was that damned canned chili from my brothers house though.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

my excuse

I went to my brother's house today. He lives in Riverside. I never visit him. I have found my excuse. I left my house at 3:40pm, he lives 28 miles away (all freeway) and it took me a HOUR! WTF. I love him and all but jeez. How many people live out that way?


I came across this blog. I can't read it but who cares. Wanna see? CLICK HERE

much to do

We order Dish Network last night (online) and they are coming out tomorrow. We had cable for a year (thanks Mom for last years gift) but decided it was too expensive. Dish is about 20 bucks cheaper a month.

I am looking into getting a new tub. Probably a jacuzzi one. Does anyone out there have one? Any problems with it? We are going to have to move the toilet and take out one sink to make it fit nicely in there. (Not a real big bathroom) I have had one plumber come out and I have another one coming next week for the estimate.

We still need an electrician to come out because the water softener is not getting power. Jeez!

Tuesday, December 27, 2005


We are having trouble with our water softener so I was on the phone to the "Culligan Man". They told me to open the box where the unit plugs in and there was a huge black widow. Now, I am not fond of any spider. I HATE them all. I can't even kill the little bastards. I told the guy on the phone (after I screamed in his ear) that we were going to have to move now. ICK!
Eric, te amo tanto. Usted ha dado me así que muchas cosas que incluso no sabía I necesitado. Espero que tenga el resto de mi vida para demostrarle mi amor.

almost done

My oldest brother is coming today to take K shopping (it is an annual thing) and we will exchange gifts. I am probably heading to one of my other brother's house on Wed. for a white elephant gift exchange where we will also exchange our gifts. Siobhan's Nino came by yesterday. We still have to see S's Nina, B's Godparents as well as K's.

Today B, S, D and I are hitting Costco. Armed with a gift card from my mom. We already have a years supply of Q-tips, which Eric loves to tease me about every time he remembers, but this time we are going for actual food.

I hope everyone out there is enjoying themselves. I feel numb mostly. I love my family, they are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am so lucky.

By the way, I got those Chef dvd's I really wanted. Thanks babe!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Nice surprise

Today was not as hard emotionally as I thought it would be. It might have been healing had I had a chance to deal with any pain that arrived but I did not. Now I fear that I won't be getting past that wall that seems to have appeared.

I did have a wonderful Christmas day. Thanks to all of my family. Of course Eric and the kids, Carol, my Mom, Lauren and Gabi. We all had a lot of nice gifts that were given with love (see Chuckie?). My brother David even called to wish us a Merry Christmas.

Diego is in bed already (it is not even 7pm). I am sure he isn't asleep but he always knows when he needs a little "time out". There never was a better kid about going to bed. (It always reminds me of the Back to the Future where the kid cries whenever he is taken out of his play pen only to grow up and always be in jail. God, I hope not!)

Merry Christmas everyone!
Remember Talking Tina from the Twilight Zone? Well, that doll is now in our home in the form of Amazing Amanda. This thing is freaky. It recognizes Siobhan's voice (for the most part) and tells her what to do. She knows when and what she is being fed as well as when she is laid down for bedtime. She knows the date and time. She knows Daylight Savings Time. She keeps asking Siobhan to say her name but I think it is because Siobhan keeps saying her name differently every time. She will say "Amanda, Amannnddaaaa, etc" but she is still working. She will just say " I will play with you until Mommy comes home". You can feed her, brush her hair, put her on the potty, give her juice or a cookie. They so did not have these toys when I was a kid.
I have never, in all my years, seen a kid as uninterested in opening gifts as I did today. Diego could have cared less if he was opening anything. In fact, I couldn't even seem to get him interested. He DID enjoy sitting on the gifts before they were opened. Wouldn't it be great if this continued through his teenage years?

Saturday, December 24, 2005


Will there ever be enough time? K and S are no making cookies for Santa and it is already 9pm. We just got home from Las Posadas at Olvera Street. It was nice. Now we are going nuts because K is not too knowledgeable in the way of making cookies. Who knows what Santa is going to be eating later. Sorry Santa.

Christmas Eve

Went and battled the store. I am making home made chicken pozole (pozole verde). So I had to go to two different stores and luckily it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. We needed MORE wrapping paper. I swear, we should start a tradition that all presents are unwrapped and just sitting there. Maybe you switch name tags to make it a surprise. I mean, really, how much do we spend on wrapping paper anyway. Same with birthday presents. Who started this anyway? Probably Hallmark.
Yesterday I was playing with Diego and I said "Do you love Mommy?", he said "no". BRAT

Friday, December 23, 2005

mandatory, and I like it

Eric told me the other day about something he read in the paper. Remember the day when every hard worker would receive a Christmas bonus? (Probably would be holiday bonus now!) Well in Mexico it is still going on and it is mandatory. Every employee gets one. The employers wouldn't even dream of not giving one. It usually equals one months salary and is always given before the 25th of December. Can you imagine? One months salary! I would be in heaven. All the bills you could pay off. WOW!

I say we implement that here. Oh yeah!

couple more days

Well, I was going to make cookies (I do every year) especially sugar cookies (the kind with the icing on top) but my heart just isn't in it. Those were my Dad's favorites. They were the reason I learned to make them. I judged how good they were by him. Somehow it just isn't the same. I just don't feel the same.

Siobhan is getting excited. My heart fills with joy when I think of her and Diego so excited to see that Santa has come. Siobhan wants to leave carrots for the reindeer because she heard it on TV somewhere, too cute.

I am off now until Jan 3rd. I really think I can use the break. I LOVE my job but I think I need a bit of family time. I am sure in a week I will be SO ready to go back to work. Today the two older one's have school, Eric has to work, Siobhan will go to pre-school so it will just be Diego and me. That will be nice. I am actually hoping to get the house clean (with Diego behind me dropping cereal no doubt!)

Hey, if you are what you eat, Diego is cereal, apple, and banana.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Sickness everywhere

Yesterday half of work was out due to illness. There were still quite a few there who were sick. Stay home I say. Keep all your germs at your house with you. I am home today because Eric's mom is ill (she watches Diego for us).

I have wrapped presents. Cleaned (a little bit!) and been overall sadder then I have been in weeks. Oh well. Eric ordered something for Bradley, which he opened yesterday to see it, only to find out they sent the wrong thing. We called and they don't have the one we did order. They are out of stock. THAT is nice. He will never know, he doesn't ever read this...

I really want to break down and cry for hours. I want to see my Dad again. I want to hold him, kiss him, hug him. I want, I want, I want. I know I am so selfish, I am lucky to have had so many wonderful years to know him as a man. But, damn it, I wanted so much more.

Diego is enjoying a banana in his high chair. The kids will be home soon. I told Siobhan I would pick her up early from pre-school so she could watch a Dora dvd. Bradley will be going shopping with his cousin tomorrow. Krystal probably Thursday. Eric and I still need to go out sometime. It looks like I will be staying home tomorrow too. My work is closed Friday so maybe I will make it in Thursday. Either way I will be off until the 3rd. Then I will need to start planning Natalie's baby shower and a birthday party for our little "going to be four years old". Busy, no matter what the season.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Please take a look

Okay, seriously, if you have a few minutes check out this site. It shows how they make photos look so much better for magazines and such. If you have a daughter it is a must see. Either way, it is amazing. Once you click the link, click the "retouch site" at the bottom left. Wow!

click me! click me!

Can you believe it?

Less than one week until Christmas. Only 5 more shopping days. I don't feel the Christmas spirit as much as usual, but I still feel the love. I almost wish for the day to be here but most of the fun is the building of anticipation. I am looking forward to seeing my family. Seeing the joy in the babies faces. Feeling the love that seems to consume me at this time of year.

Usually Eric and I will sit with a nice drink on Christmas Eve after the little one's have gone to bed. Sometimes we will light a fire (watch out Santa!) and talk about the past year. It really gives me something to look forward. I know this year there will be tears but I know I am so lucky to have had all the wonderful years that I did have with my dad.

What do you guys do to help celebrate the holidays? Anything you are hoping Santa will bring you?

Saturday, December 17, 2005


Here is a letter I saved in my sent box that I e-mailed my Dad in March of 2003. I am so glad I often took the opportunity to tell him what I thought of him while I still could. You really know what is going to happen. Here it is.

I know I don't say it enough so I wanted to tell you
how much I really love you. You have always been
great! Always there for me yet allowing me to make my
own way. I think of you often although I don't always
take the time to let you know. Often a song or a
thought will remind me of you and I think I should
call or stop by and I let it pass. So I thought I
would go ahead and take this opportunity to let you
know that again I am thinking of you.
Often it is a song or two that makes me think of only
you. Singing with you, laughing over stupid words, but
mostly singing with you.
I know life gets in the way and somehow there isn't
always time to do everything I should and this is one
of those things. You have always been at the very top
of my list of most important people and there you
shall remain. (even if I let too much time go by
before I see you)
I just want to let you know my love for you shall
never fade. My opinions of you shall do nothing but get
better. You have never given me less then 100% of
yourself and all and everything you are. You are, I
believe, truly a gift from God. I know we don't see
eye to eye there but how could I have gotten so lucky
with such loving parents if that were not the case.
Luck of the draw maybe? I hit 21!
So longer then I intended though not nearly through
enough to express what it is that I am trying to say.
So I shall use three little too commonly used words,
but they say so much.
I love you! you are my thoughts, my kindness, my
loving, my life. Thank you for being who you were,
willing to show that you are not perfect and not
expecting me to be either.
Love you lots!

Di's work pals

Here are some of my friends at work. We are enjoying our annual Holiday party. This one is of Amber and myself. Down below is Natalie, me, and Julie.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

We heard from Nan!

Yeah! We got two big boxes from Nan today. There were Christmas presents in there (we didn't open them yet!) It was so good to know she is thinking of us. We think of her all the time. I know you are probably reading this Nan.


I hope maybe there are some photos of her so I can post them. I bet she has changed so much. I was telling Eric that Diego is a different kid since he was only a few weeks old when she left (he is 18 months now!). We have the kids room decorated with pictures that Nan drew. So beautiful!

Siobhan enjoying a grape and holding the flowers we bought at the Farmers Market

Santa Ana Farmers Market

You should go! It is held on wednesdays from 3pm to 7pm. On Third and Bush street (Bush is just east of Main St.). They have fresh flowers, lots of fresh fruits and veggies as well as music, nuts, honey, snacks and food, like bacon wrapped hot dogs, YUM!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


.. is not something you need to go to the doctor too apparently. I took Diego today for what was clearly ringworm because my cousin said I needed to (thanks a lot Cindee, I know you just want my co-pay, hee hee). The doctor looked at it, said he wished he had a student so he could show him a classic case, told us to get Lotrimin over the counter. GREAT!

Oh well, at least I got off work early. Diego weighs 26 pounds (big scale with shoes and clothes, NOT standing still). The doctor said there is nothing to worry about just because Diego is eating us out of house and home and not gaining weight. He said he is probably just running it off. I think he eats more than Bradley (who is 15)!

So we enjoyed some time together alone. Eric came home early and we watched the news with just Bradley and Diego (K is at soccer) and then we picked Siobhan up from pre-school. I asked her what she did today and she said "something". Nice to know our money is being well spent!

Sunday, December 11, 2005

How cute is that kid?!

Diego enjoying listening to Bradley's iPod. See Andrea, kids of all ages enjoy iPods! (hee hee)

almost done

with my shopping. K and B have to get something for their Godparents and I have to get my mom something (but I know what I am getting so that makes it easy). Something for Mark, the mailman (he is the BEST!). My niece and nephew (again I know what I am getting them, so easy), and Eric.

Eric is either really easy or really hard. I either know exactly what to get him or I am at a totally loss. This year I am at a total loss. I have an idea but am not sure it is the best thing. I would like to have the attitude of, I get it for him and if he doesn't like it, too bad, but I can't. When I get my husband a gift I want to make sure it is something he would LOVE. So each day I think of different things and wonder what would be better. He is easy on one hand because he is thankful for anything, but I really want him to be happy.

Eric, I am NOT asking for hints here, so quit thinking it (he is a faithful reader!). Anyway, I feel relived that I am almost done. Usually I haven't even really started. Oh, I still have to shop for Diego but how easy is that! Hope you all are enjoying the stress free days of being almost done as well.

Only 13 shopping days left! (My dad ALWAYS shopped on Christmas Eve. Who do you think was wrapping everything late that night?!)


Last night I found out that Diego's teeth (freakin' cute) are just like Eric's when he was little. According to Eric's cousins and aunt he used to bite too. Maybe that is where Diego gets it. Weird when you hear stuff like that.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Maybe I WILL enjoy this day

Running around earlier. I had to go by my cousin's house to pick up papers for tonight. I stopped by my Dad's house where Gabi was having a garage sale and grabbed a few things. Ran into Bradley's Nino there. I haven't seen him in, maybe a year. Then we went to Smart and Final where I spent WAY too much money and still came home with a list. Diego took a nap. Siobhan tried but failed. Eric and I are starting to put together a list of tunes for my iPod for the party. I opened a Smirnoff (green apple), Siobhan just got out of the bath. Diego is finishing up eating (he takes so long because he eats SO much). We still need showers. I have to pick up K's friend who is going with us and will help set up. I still have to stop by the store for ice and misc. items. But all and all, I am done. At this point people either enjoy themselves or they don't. I am done.

Had a crying episode earlier. Don't feel any better. I had to stop because I was making Siobhan cry. A real fake cry too. I couldn't help but laugh. I have so much to be thankful for, but I am still so sad.

Oh, I hear my Smirnoff calling me, gotta go!

Friday, December 09, 2005

up again

What I wouldn't do for one full nights sleep. If Diego doesn't wake up, it is Siobhan. If Siobhan doesn't wake up, it is something in my head that won't allow me to sleep (Dad). This is seriously driving me nuts. I don't mind if the kids wake now and again because it isn't usually them. It isn't as if I am having a dream of my dad or anything, I just find I can't sleep and assume that is what it is, maybe not, who knows!

The other night I went to bed at 8. Siobhan was laying in bed with me (still not her bedtime yet) and we were reading. I think I fell asleep about 8:30. I had a really good nights sleep. I was so tired. I am always tired lately, but it isn't a sleepy tired. I am emotionally tired. So tired.

I am scared. I am afraid of the prayer at the family party Saturday. I am afraid I won't be able to hold it together. I WILL NOT break down crying so what are my other options? I just try and hold everything back. Try not to feel anything. I am afraid of hugs lately. I am afraid to feel anything. If I let go, maybe I will begin crying and never be able to stop.

Every time I have let myself cry, I don't feel better afterwards. Usually I feel better after a cry but not in the last two and a half months. Oh no, Siobhan just came in here and I hear Diego now. Gotta go, please note the time.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

another one

I had another dream last night that my dad called to tell me he didn't really die. I didn't understand in this dream why he lied but he kept saying he did. I told him there was no way Gabi could be faking and he said she knew. She called me and I hung up on her. I thought, I will call Mark, there was no way he would have faked his sorrow, but I never got to make the call. I hate having these dreams over and over. Although I wish to God one would come true!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

trudging along

Closer and closer Christmas comes. Siobhan is getting really excited, asking about every little thing. I sometimes manage to make it home without crying, but not very often. I can't stop thinking about my Dad. Sometimes I am sad and I am not even thinking about it, but it must be back there somewhere.

The Torres Christmas party is in a few days. I will be so glad when it is over. K and I are in charge this year. It will not be all I had hoped but as long as we are all together, that is all that matters, right?

Next week at work we have our Secret Pal. I love doing that. Nothing like getting a gift everyday of the week. Plus we have quite a few new people at work, and it is a good way to get to know them. Our work is taking us out for dinner next Friday, pretty cool!

I know I say it all the time, but it is always in my mind. "I miss you Daddy"

Monday, December 05, 2005

not that my husband minds

but doesn't this qualify as prime time soft porn?

almost there

We picked up our Christmas tree tonight. It is outside soaking up some water. We have some/most of our shopping done. Not too bad with only a few weeks to go. Siobhan has her Christmas party this weekend, we have our Torres family party (which Krystal and I are in charge of this year) this Saturday. It will all be downhill from there.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Planning Festivus

We decorate our doors at work this week. We can't do Christmas, only holiday, so Natalie and I are going to do Festivus. "Festivus for the rest of us". What is really funny is how much information there is out there about it. Eric remembered just about everything I need but I thought I would google it just to see what happened. Man, oh man, people need more to do out there. So hopefully tomorrow I will go armed with my pole and some pretty darn sayings and see how it goes. If nothing else, it is something different.

okay, I lied

Right after I signed off, Bradley and my mom walk in. Krystal couldn't find her shorts so she didn't go. Now I am home with four kids and no husband!


practically alone

A rare occurrence in this house. Bradley is out shopping with Grandma Sue. Eric and Krystal went on a bike ride. Diego is napping and Siobhan is watching a Dora dvd. I am alone (or as close as it gets), what shall I do, what shall I do? I know I am not going to waste anymore time writing here

well, lookie here

I have not been able to sleep well lately. I woke up with enough time to answer Andrea's question on iPods (as if it was written just for me!), answer a few e-mails, and go catch the episodes of Eastenders I missed on Friday. Woo hoo. Usually I will wake up too soon before it starts and fall asleep again, or wake up just as the last one is going to end. Off I go....

Saturday, December 03, 2005

so busy

I am finishing up for the annual Torres Christmas party. A party for people who don't like to RSVP. I had a call from the taco guy tonight (I just heard the message) wanting to confirm. I have no idea how many people since I still haven't heard from about 20. auuggghhhh

I still have so much to do for that. My house still has nothing Christmas yet. I know Diego and Siobhan really want to see everything so I think it will be done this weekend.

Later is ballet and then the USC v. UCLA game. GO BRUINS!

So much to do and soooo little time. I am glad I am getting this party out of the way. Shouldn't be our turn for about another 15 years if ever the way the family keeps growing! Anyone want to help?