My husband is obsessed with these pictures. I don't get it. He will laugh and laugh!

Change?

Who am I? Who are you? We have our titles or course. Daughter, sister, wife, mother, employee... etc. They mean so much and they mean so little. Being a wife (daughter, mom, etc) can mean everything in the world or nothing at all. How is that? How can it change so suddenly. Maybe once you are and then you aren't. Your a wife, then you aren't. If your title is gone, what else leaves?

How do we decide who we are going to be? What defines us? I thought I was someone. Someone who could verbalize every thought, feeling and desire that entered my head. But what I found is that when it really matters, I won't let those thoughts loose. I keep them. Hidden. My mom once told me "You will be okay when someone you love dies because you will talk about it". I thought she was SO right. No. We were so wrong.

I wish. I wish I had been someone different that night. That night that my dad died. It changed me. It changed me forever. It changed every single thing about me. It made me question who I was. What was important. That night... that night I realized I wasn't who I thought I was. I would do things so different. I would have left my husband be there for me like he wanted. I would have refused to be strong. I would have accepted long tear filled hugs from my brothers. I would have been so different.

What I did was deal with things. Which is so odd. That is not me. I am the youngest, not quite a princess but I expect to be taken care of. That night, I took care. What I wish I would have done... Let my husband go with me to the hospital. Cried on him, screamed in his arms. Let go. Yell! Scream! Cry! Anything but what I did.

You can never go back in life. I only hope I am more prepared to be there for someone else or will be who I think I need to be (for myself) next time. No one knows how they are going to react. No one. I think I would feel more... well just feel more had I been different that night.

I can no longer allow thoughts to just flow through my head. My mind needs to be busy at all times. Free time equals pain. If I lay in bed awake, tears will come. They are not healing tears. I don't even believe in such a thing anymore. I have always hated crying myself to sleep, now I fear it. I read a book until I am ready to pass out. My sleep is less and less lately. I am staying up later and later. Sometimes I fear it.

I know things will get better. They have gotten somewhat better. I don't know if they will ever be good. All the things my dad won't be here for... Krystal's high school graduation in a couple of months, Bradley trying out for football, Siobhan in a kindergarten play, Diego out of diapers.

I am a mom, sister, wife and a daughter. I am less of a daughter because I have less of a family to be a daughter too. Change. I never did care for it.

HE DID IT

Diego went pee pee in the potty. Oh my gosh! I am so excited. Everytime we even ask him if he wants to sit on it he says No. We have had him sit on it a few times in the last couple of days. He was sitting there and he said "It's working!". ha ha He was going! Oh yes! Big boy!

I did the most unthinkable act

I put Windows on my Mac. I ONLY did it for work, but oh I am so sad. I feel like I crossed over to the dark side! The program we use for work can only be used through Internet Explorer 6.0, the Mac version only goes up to 5 something. I can't believe I have to use Internet Explorer much less WINDOWS!

Ahh, my mac please forgive me! I promise to only switch when I HAVE to work. Please forgive me!

What time is dinner?

Ever wonder why we eat lunch and dinner when we do? If so, click here to find out!

Save the cheerleader, save the world!

Yeah! Heros is all new tomorrow. I enjoy that show. I always notice that when it ends, I have been sort of holding my breath. Intense!

My tub

Well it has taken weeks and weeks but the tile is off, the tub is out and I finally went and bought the new tub today. Ahhh, okay, there are no promises on when it will actually be IN, but at least it is here at our house. We have to wait for the electrician and the plumber. Hey, my part is done! Oh shoot, I guess we still have to pick tile, but well... that should be easy enough. Oh and paint the restroom. Shit! We will never be done. ha ha

Our sweet Siobhan!

Copied from Eric's Flickr page


I was sanding our pinche front door today and noticed Siobhan walking around holding something delicately in her hand. She came over and told me she had found a Ladybug that didn't go away when she picked it up. She LOVES ladybugs, but never can catch them because they fly away.

This one didn't fly away, so she caught it and carried it around for a bit before she came over to me.

When she showed it to me I noticed it was not moving. It was dead. How do you explain death to a five year old? She and her Big Brother Bradley buried it in the yard and said a prayer for it.

vacation- is OVER

Diego asleep in his car seat. He NEVER falls asleep in there!

My vacation is over and I did nothing. Nothing exciting. Nothing different. Nothing! What a waste. I could have been at work and been sick. geez My head hangs low!

Day three of vacation

Literally slept all day. I missed the first home Galaxy game (watched it on TV, they lost). Donovan sucks. I don't care what people say. He is only a good player when he is all alone with the ball, no one within 15 feet of him. Otherwise, he is.. not good! Here is a picture I took from Eric's flickr page of Siobhan, Diego, Krystal and Elizabeth (K's friend) at the game.


I had such plans for the day too. Instead it was wasted sleeping. This whole "vacation" has been wasted. Shame!

Day two of vacation

Sick. My oldest brother came over so I rushed home from Mervyn's to see my nephew. He is so cute! I went out later and bought a mattress for Siobhan's new bed (she photo below). Then took her out for a while so her older brother and sister could get it all ready for her!

Siobhan's new bed

She finally has a big girl bed. It was a surprise and she was SO excited. She is still excited. Ahh, why do they have to grow up?

Day one of vacation

We hung out. I made a trip to Target to get some stuff and picked up some sandwiches at Mattern's (yummy). Siobhan spent most of the day with her Nana. We went and got the Wiiplay for the Wii. We have been looking all over for it and finally one store had it. Thanks to Mark, it was free. We used our Christmas gift card.

Still fighting this cold or whatever it is.

Congratulations Andrea and Jeremy! What a beautiful little girl!

Where have I been?

trying to remember my stupid Google password. Finally!

Eric, the kids and I took the Metro-link train up to Olvera Street on Saturday. It was great. Round trip tickets were $6.50 and SIobhan and Diego were free. The ride was only about 45 minutes. We made up the difference on lunch, but well, it was fun!

They had the blessing of the animals. Eric re-fell in love with the hairless dog see here. I think we will have a new addition soon!

Eric has been sick since Wed night. I have a really bad sore throat. We both work today but then we are off the rest of the week. The kids have spring break, so we will all be home together.

Easter went okay. Really didn't feel like doing much. My mom came over for a little bit to watch the kids hunt for eggs. She brought her new boyfriend. He seems really nice. Spoils her and that is what she deserves.

I gotta get ready for work now. A one day work week, oh how will I make it through? I have to leave at lunch, Krystal and her friend Elizabeth are taking Siobhan to Chuck E Cheese. They are so excited about it (Krystal and Elizabeth!). You would never guess these girls are 17!

from Mary

1.) How do you handle so much nice weather? Starting to get jealous of you Cali people.
ha ha, it is real tough! Let me tell you. Actually it can get a little bit hot and it never rains enough, but other then that, it IS great!

2.) How do you make time for all of your kids, while working full time? It seems like you have endless time/energy.
Ha ha. I really don't do much. I really don't. I love my job and I love my family, luckily we seem to have gotten a great combo!

3.) If you could only watch 1 TV show for the rest of this season, which would it be?
Man, tough! I am so into Grey's Anatomy but I have been watching Eastenders for years, so I guess I would pick Eastenders.

4.) Do you sleep with your feet under the covers or outside?
Most of the time under

5.) If you could change 1 thing about yourself, what would you change and why?
Oh my gosh, my weight. I am so not focused on losing weight. I wish I were, but no. If I were to pick something else, it would be my temper. I am pretty easy going but you never know when POW I might freak out!

Thanks for asking Mary!

Books

I have been taking the kids to storytime at the library for the last few weeks. I have been reading 3/4 books a week and thought I would put them on here.


You Don't Know Jack


The Wrong Man


The Road to Home



Scoop

My obituary. Will anyone read it?

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Mackey did it. I did it too!

happy, sad. happy, sad

Well my friend of about five years is leaving work. There is a 10 year age difference between us (me being older) but you would never know it. We get along so well. We agree on so many different topics. We enjoy talking politics and have most of the same views. We agree on child rearing which is great because we are strict like her parents and she turned out great! We are both completely down on Wal-mart! We LOVE going to Target! We talk about everything! Kids, movies, husbands, money, anything.

She is going to leave and she is going to work somewhere else. I know this won't be the end of our friendship. It never could. It will just be harder to see her. We go to lunch together every single day. Now we will have to arrange time to see one another.

I am SO happy for her. This is a great opportunity for her, but I will miss her so much! It will be really weird. No Natalie at lunch. No Natalie waiting to get in before anyone else is there and staying until everyone else leaves. No Natalie to tell everyone else they are "racial", one of our favorite things to do. Watch what you say around us.

I will miss her!

wow

Link

UCLA Fight Fight Fight

Oh yeah Final Four! I knew they would do it!

I got this in an e-mail from my cousin. Amen!

gulp

I passed by this broken fire hydrant the other day. Man that is a lot of wasted water!

ahhh So Cal

It is a P E R F E C T 80 degrees with a slight breeze. Oh yeah. This is why some crazy people are paying $400,000.00 for a 600 sq ft loft. PERFECT. Okay, well yes, there have been a few fires. A little bit of ash here and there, but other than that...

It really is a beautiful perfect day. I was driving by the beach today and there were so many people out there walking. Don't these people work? Don't they have somewhere to be? Must be nice! Wish I could have taken Cucui to the dog beach. She loves it there!

I am happy about the time change. It was so nice yesterday. Eric and I went for a walk after work with Siobhan riding her bike. That little girl likes to go fast. For a girly girl she will push the limits!

Tonight is story time at the library. I read three books this week. Hmmm, wonder what we should have for dinner? With weather like this we will have to start cooking outside. Did I mention it is PERFECT outside?

AM

I am NOT a morning person, but I recently changed my morning routine. You see I require very little time to get ready in the morning. I do not wear make-up. I wash my hair, brush it and it is done. I get up an hour and a half before I have to be at work and my work is about 8 minutes away. Last week I decided I was going to stop taking Krystal to school which meant I had to leave the house by 7:40. Now I leave by about 8:10. That half hour makes all the difference. I have time to eat in the morning if I want. I have always taken the time to lay with the little one's in the morning but now I don't feel rushed at all. It is wonderful. I am actually making sure Siobhan (and Diego if he decides to eat) get a good breakfast before we leave the house, it isn't always cereal. I have never been one of those crazy people in the morning (the kind you can tell are late by the way they drive!) but now, oh man, I feel like I could accomplish anything in the morning. Of course I rarely get anything extra done. I might do a few dishes but I don't FEEL rushed. That is the key I think. Isn't that often why we lose our tempers or things go wrong because you are in such a hurry. You hurry and you spill something. You hurry but your kid isn't so you yell. You hurry and your car has a flat, okay, maybe not that one.
Ahh, the bliss of time in the morning (notice: time to blog!)

Hey, Good Morning!

Beyond

It's funny. Sometimes you think life has given you more than your fair share. You know what pain is. You have been through it. Then something else hits you, and you realize you had no idea at all what pain was.

I have experienced pain. Pain that before I knew it would bring tears at the thought of it. Now that that pain is here, it is beyond tears. Beyond explanation. Beyond words. It is beyond, but it is also right here.

The absence of someone is never easy no matter the reason. The failure of someone to ever be able to return, beyond. Beyond knowledge. Beyond dreaming. Beyond comprehension.

What if there were no heaven? What if there is nothing after? I remember Philosophy class. Man created Heaven because we are scared of "after". I believe in heaven. But what if? What if there is NO chance of seeing my dad ever again in all eternity. What if he is beyond? Nope, can't be. If there were no hope, well...there would be nothing.

Each day, my pain is here. Most times it is so strong, it threatens to take over, so it must be pushed down. Pushed to where it can't escape. On it's way, maybe a tear is shed. Maybe a stray thought. Maybe just maybe I can actually put together some words that are the tip of how I hurt. But not usually. Usually, push! harder and harder! The more you can push your pain down, the less you have to think of it. No pain no gain? No thank you!

Beyond words. Although I continue to try. My dad is beyond me. Maybe he is here with me. Maybe one day my dam will break. Maybe one day, maybe...

Happy Birthday Daddy

Today would be my Dad's birthday. I am sure he is up there eating a HUGE cake and watching football on a TV so big that we can't imagine it. Or maybe he is there in person watching but in a super comfortable chair.

I miss you so much. I miss you each and every minute of each and every day. I used to cry when you were alive just thinking about losing you. I had no idea how much it would hurt.

Tonight we will eat cake, in your honor. My love still belongs to you! I am still your little girl.

What is that wet stuff coming from the sky?

Oh my gosh! It is rain. I mean real rain. Not a few droplets, but actually drive carefully rain. Measurable wet rain.
We get storm watches over rain like this. It is glorious. I love when it rains. Probably because it NEVER does. I mean, they write songs about how it never rains in California and they aren't kidding. I actually drove my son to school today because I didn't want him to be soaked all day.

Okay, so now it seems to have stopped, but maybe just maybe it will start up again. That is how it goes here. Off again, on again. One thing is for sure, lots of kids will have wet shoes and socks today. Our storm drains (in the streets) always get backed up when it actually rains. Which means the streets are wet all the way across. Poor kiddies walking to school.

Rain, Rain, don't go away. Stay until another day.

Mother/Wife of the Year?

I have prepared dinner two nights in a row. Yes, two! I know that sounds like nothing, but for me... you have no idea. Not only did I prepare (and I mean cook, not just heating something like usual), I have plans for about 3 or 4 more meals. I actually am serving three things I never make. Oh yeah. This is huge for me. The best thing, I feel like the evening goes so much nicer because I don't have to worry about what to eat. Usually around 7pm, I am thinking, "hmm, I guess I should get something for dinner", which is why I usually go out and pick something up.

Here is what we had tonight.

check out this recipe

If you try it out, let me know. We used the whole box of shells and it fed all six of us.

Me and my girls

something on your mind?

Mine seems to be blank. Driving in my car, I think of a million things to blog about. Sit down at the computer, nada. Weird how that is. Maybe I need one of those little recorders to carry around.

I think my iPod died. I have to take it to the Genius Bar and see if there is anything I can do. Maybe I should just get a little Nano. Eric said the video one's are on sale. ahhh

Family minus one

Yesterday (Sunday) we took the family except for Diego up to Hollywood. We were going to take him but decided that with all that walking, he was, well, going to be a pain. So we packed him off to Grandma's.

Our first stop was Audrey Hepburn's star.


Krystal was very excited. She LOVES all her movies.

After that we just walked around. We went to Graumanns where they are setting up for the Oscars. We did some shopping. Krystal bought a Audrey purse and the owner of the store gave Siobhan a Betty Boop purse for free! How sweet is that!

Siobhan was lucky enough to see the star of one of her favorites.


Perfect picture!

We went for lunch at a little pizza place. Siobhan wanted to know how they flatten the pizza crust. It was a great day! As we were walking back to the car, this guy offered to draw the kids. Okay, I know, toursity but still. For $10 the guy did a great job with a sharpie. I will post it after Eric scans it. So there we are, the guy is drawing the kids, he looks down at the star we are by. He tells me to look down. OH MY GOSH, it is fate! Greg, eat your heart out!

From Yahoo! News- Associated Press

Ramona Montoya, center, and her husband Manuel Munoz, left, kiss their daughter Marina inside the jail of the module F1 of Aranjuez prision, Spain, Tuesday Dec. 19, 2006. Welcome to a jail Spain says is the only the one in the world with cell units for families: Disney characters on the walls, a nursery, a playground for toddlers. The idea is for kids to bond with their imprisoned parents while young enough to be oblivious to their surroundings, and for inmates seeking rehabilitation to learn parenting skills. The prison in this town 40 kilometers (25 miles) south of Madrid has 36 cell units for families, although now only 16 are occupied, most with Latin Americans. The units of the special F-1 section are known in jail jargon as 'five-star cells'. (AP Photo/Bernat Armangue)

excuse the dust

Okay, not a great picture I know. I took it with my cell phone. It is a picture of Eric on the floor surrounded in plastic as he sands the cabinets.(Kinda like the bubble boy but not as sad!) Not fun (or so it appears!). Sorry babe!

Got tile?

Then I SERIOUSLY suggest you splurge and get one of these. We have white tile with white grout in the kitchen. We have tried everything to get it clean. Bleach, comet, using a toothbrush (sorry Bradley, hee hee) using a scrubber, using bleach pens and nothing worked. I thought, well, here is another $20 down the drain. (It was only $12.99, but I bought all the attachments too).

Of course I have had it for about a month. Yesterday I made a little comet paste and thought "Okay, let's give it a go". OH MAN! I kid you not, our tile looks great! It actually looks beautiful. I don't even want to put the stuff back on the counter because it looks so good it is a shame to cover it up.

As I promote anything that Apple Computer makes, I am all for the Sonic Scrubber. It has a bunch of different heads that can be used for different things. A+

shhhh

Must have been a morning thing (my throat hurting) because I feel fine now. Today at Siobhan's dance, right before it was time to leave, there were kids there for the next class. Older kids. LOUD kids. I was seriously having sensory overload. They say people sometimes snap and kill over noise. I believe it. It was hot too. I was thinking, "I have to get out of here!" Finally she came running over. "Let's go!"

I know I have four children but our house is not really loud. The first time my friend Amber came over she said "I thought I would hear your family from the street". What the heck! Not us. Not that we are quiet either. When we aren't yelling at the kids, the music is off, we can sometimes hear things going on outside, ya know like the birds singing, a dog barking or the Jose next door working on a car.

Isn't it weird how sometimes you can tune things out. Like if I am playing a game they can be louder then if I am trying to hear the tv. Basically if it doesn't bother me, who cares. Uh, well, unless Eric cares of course!

I wanna blog

but my heart isn't in it. My throat hurts. We have a MILLION things to do. crap

Family

Today was Aunt Loy's funeral. It was sad but it was a nice service. I just wanted to say that I feel so lucky to be a part of such a wonderful HUGE family. Don't get me wrong, I love my family so much. I have three wonderful brothers, a SUPER mom and some cousins here and there and a couple of aunts. I love them all. But Eric's family is HUGE! I mean, his grandparents had NINE children. Those children went off to marry and have children of their own and those children had children. They are a really big bunch. They are all very loving and accepting. I have never seen such a large bunch of people love children SO much. They are ALL over the kids. It is just a wonderful feeling to be surrounded by so many people.

I am sad that it was a loved one's passing that got us all together this time. You want to see everyone all the time, but life gets in the way. Day by day we are all so busy. It is hard to plan something with so many people.

I just want to say "Thanks" to each and every one of those people there today. Not only did it make everyone feel good to have family and friends around to share the grief, it fills you with love. That love gets you through. That kind of love makes you who you are. Love, is what I get everytime I see any one of them. Thank you all!

God bless you Aunt Loy!

want a soak?

This is what our tub currently looks like. I was blown away when Eric said we had to get down to the studs. I thought we just had to remove the tile. I didn't know the whole wall had to go too. Geez. Soon that tub will be out and a new wonderful tub will be there instead. ahhhhh

water, acqua, eau, wasser, agua

No matter how you say it, we have it! We have water. No more going outside to turn on the water to wash dishes, shower or do some laundry. Woo hoo! It has been about two weeks we (Krystal and Bradley but I gave birth to them, therefore I lay claim to anything good they may do) have been tearing out the tile and the wall around the tub. Well all the tile is removed and we had the plumber out last night. He fixed the faucet. We are now regular people who can have the water on all the time.

We had such a bad leak that our water bill showed we were using (wasting) about three times the water as last year this same time. Man. Crazy. But now, all is well. We still have to finish the bathroom but having water, well, right now I feel like a queen. (A queen that can wash dishes and do laundry and wash her hands!)

oh my head

I have what I am guessing is an awful sinus headache. All night, now all day. Medicine isn't helping. I am trying to drink lots of water to help but I don't know. Maybe it is the weather. Whenever the weather changes around here (probably because it never does), sinus' act up.

Grrr, hope I feel better soon. I have had my wonderful little five year old here with me all day to make me feel better. She has been great. Playing so well by herself when I slept. Kisses make you feel so much better!

good-bye

Last night our aunt passed away. She was a wonderfully loving person. She had Ahlzheimers for many years but still managed to bring love to those around her. She LOVED children. She will be missed especially by her children, grand-children and siblings. I find myself with little words at this time.

I know she is enjoying herself up there with her parents, her husband, her sister and her son.

My beautiful girl is 5!

Yep, she turned 5 yesterday. Started off with getting cupcakes and party items for her to take to school. We picked her up early and headed to dinner at Chili Pepper. It was us and both grandma's. She opened her presents, they sang her Happy Birthday. Daddy made cool stickers for us to wear that had her picture on them and said it was her birthday and she is 5. After dinner I told her I was taking her somewhere special but I didn't tell her where.

We went to see the play Annie at The Orange County Performing Arts Center. It was great! I highly recommend it! We bought tickets last night at the door and we were in the SECOND row! (Andrea, I swear one of the kids looked like she might be related to you!) Everyone said that she was so cute all dressed up for the theatre. She was! She topped off the night by sleeping on the couch. She loves sleeping on the couch. (I don't know why!)

Happy Birthday baby girl. I love you so much!

Post

okay, I am doing this because even though I don't think of myself as superstitious, I have 666 posts, so I gotta put one more on here.

Things are going okay. Life goes by day by day. Weird huh? I have had a couple days go by that I don't cry missing my Dad. That is good right?

My new job at work is going well. I really enjoy it and hope to continue loving it!

Siobhan's birthday is on the 31st. She will be FIVE. I can't believe it. We are going to have a birthday party for her in a few weeks (we are still working on the kitchen cabinets and the bathroom). She is such a beautiful big girl. She fills our hearts with love each and everyday. I wish you could be here for her birthday Nan! Dad, I wish you could be here too!

Bloggers help needed

My friend from sent me a book from a girl who is doing a school project. You are supposed it fill it out about your family and the area you live in. I can't get anyone to respond to me to send it to. It needs to be filled out and then sent to someone else in another state. Anyone want to help out with this? Please?!

I am ready to kick some grass

Okay, Andrea. I was trying to hold it in but you asked for it!

As you all probably know, Beckham has joined the LA Galaxy. What does that mean to you? Probably nothing. What does it mean to people around here? Those that have NO interest whatsoever in soccer will be flooding to the soccer games JUST to see Beckham. People who have probably never even watched a game on TV. What does that mean for me? Okay let me tell you.

It means, I probably won't get my seats. You see, we have had season tickets to the Galaxy for about four years now. We enjoy the Galaxy games as a family. When Nan (our exchange student from Thailand was here, we took her too!). We never miss a game. Our seats are great. We have gotten to know the people who sit behind us. We talk to the people in front of us. I LOVE my seats. My seats have "suddenly" gotten more expensive. Okay, we expected that. We already talked about how much more we would pay and how important it is to us. In a season, there are roughly 20 home games. We get the half season, one- some of the games are during the week and we can't make it there in time, and two- we get 5 seats, a full season is too much money.

So, big deal you say. So you have to pay more. pfftt, of course, it is Beckham. He is a great soccer player, he is hot and well, they are paying him all that money, they have to get it back somehow. Well, the problem is this. They are selling LOTS of season tickets. They sold something like 2500 that first day it was announced. Hmm, so guess what. They probably will not offer the half season. The ticket guy says, "Well, why not get a full season, it is Beckham after all". Oh, okay. Well hell, it is Beckham, so I guess that means I don't have to worry about how much money I spend. I mean, hmm, 5 seats, about $2500. A bit more than we were thinking.

I am just bummed. I mean we have been there through good and bad. We were there before they won the cup. We were there supporting them. Yelling! And now, we have been forgotten. It is supposed to be a family thing. They have done away with the "children" tickets (which were only a few dollars cheaper anyway) and now there might not be a half season. Well, aren't we screwed. The Galaxy was our outings. We go to Mexico and we go to Galaxy games. We have a cousin who WILL NOT invite us over for the 4th of July because we never go, we are always at a Galaxy game. Every year!

Beckham, I am glad you are coming. I think it will be a great thing if you bring more people into the joy of soccer. I am sure it will happen. But I am oh so sad for those of us who can't quite afford you.

brrrr

Stolen from Eric's Flickr page, this is a ring of ice in our fountain from last night. It was taken at about 10am this morning. We are actually wearing sweatshirts. I have found myself saying "I'm cold" quite a few times. I am never cold!

Apple iPhone

Okay, even if you saw the news, you have to check out the new iPhone. I have included the link. Make sure you click on the different objects on the top right of the screen once you have viewed everything on this page. This phone is way more then a phone or an iPod. I totally want one. Amazing. I am so glad we own Apple stock!

Okay click me, click me!

What? Oh, hello!

wow. I can't believe how fast time is passing us by. Sometimes we allow it to just run us over. Sometimes we take control of it and make it do what we want. Most of the time, we are so busy with day to day things that we allow it to sneak by. Scary.

Siobhan will be turning 5 on the 31st! Where did 5 years go? I just don't get it. I don't know how she got so big. Everyday we tell her to stay small. She wants nothing to do with it. She wants to get big. She wants to go to school. I treasure those cuddle times and pray they never end.

Hopefully this year will be wonderful for everyone. Maybe, just maybe, there will be peace. Peace in the world. Peace in homes and neighborhoods. Peace in my heart and head.

Here is to wishing everyone a wonderful New Year!

Happy New Year!

Ride 'em cowgirl!

hello there!

Hope your Christmas holiday was great. We had a wonderful day. The kids got a lot of gifts from both Grandma's and my oldest brother. Eric got some UCLA stuff which ALWAYS makes him happy. Siobhan's Nino Richard and Aunt Julie came by on Christmas Eve. It is always wonderful to see them. We still need to see Siobhan's Nina and Diego's Nina. My brother Tony came by today to take Bradley golfing. He dropped off some gifts for the kids. They LOVED having more presents to open. They were all excited.

Eric, Krystal and I went to see Los Lobos at the House of Blues. Opening for them was The Low Rider Band (which is most of the members of the group War, you know Low Rider, Cisco Kid). What a great show. We stood for HOURS. We were only about 6 people away from the stage. We could have gotten closer. Only one fight broke out. We finally had had enough of standing and headed upstairs to sit and enjoy the rest of the show. They could have sung for another couple of hours and still have a bunch of songs to sing. They didn't sing my favorite "Maria and Tony". sigh We left there about 1am. Eric went to work the next day! I don't know how. I walked around like a zombie all day until my nice long nap!

I have so enjoyed being off these last 6 days. I don't go back to work for 5 more days and I shall enjoy them all.

We were worried about being able to go to Mexico. Last we had heard, as of 1-7-07 you needed a passport to re-enter the US. I looked today and everything I found said 2008. WHOO HOO. Although I do not mind at all getting passports if we are actually going somewhere, a two hour drive doesn't seem worthy of a few hundred dollars. Okay, I know it is another country. The US/Mexico border, but for anyone who lives here, it is almost like crossing into another city. We shall enjoy another "free" year!

Happy ? Holidays!

Shopping done? Not quite

I have one person, nope make that two people that I have finished shopping for. Let's see who is left, oh all four of our children, my mom, his mom, my brothers, my baby nephew, Siobhan's preschool teachers, my staff at work (four!), and all the ninos and ninas. Geez, and as always, never enough money. Actually money isn't the biggest problem. The biggest problem is what to get?!

We still don't have a tree. We have been so busy and frankly I think I have been in denial that Christmas will actually be here in a week. I was going to make sugar cookies today for a cookie exchange at work tomorrow, but I just couldn't. Those were my dad's favorite and frankly I am lucky to get through a day without breaking down. Damn it, I am so tired of being sad.

I would like to say a special prayer to my very good friend Natalie. Her grandfather passed away this weekend. My thoughts, prayers and hope are with you all.

Siobhan after performing ballet and flamenco. She was wonderful. She ran right passed her Dad and me to her Nino.

so, so busy

Ahhh, we had our holiday party at work today. It used to be that it was a highlight. I have found that it is not a as much of a highlight when you are part of the group decorating and getting everything ready. Not to mention that is not my thing. It was really nice though. Nice food, the room was nice. We ate upstairs and headed downstairs for our dessert and white elephant gift card exchange. Later we had our secret pal. Mine had NO idea it was me. The weird thing is, our department only has five people and three of us had someone in our department. Too weird. I was standing all day long

Tonight is Siobhan's holiday party at school. We are waiting for Daddy to get home with Grandma from the hospital to go. we might even get our tree afterwards. Tomorrow is Siobhan's "The Nutcracker", she is dancing Flamenco and ballet. I finally got everything for that (hopefully!). After tomorrow afternoon my weekend shall begin!

Why my kids aren't driving yet!

The Shining - A Romantic Comedy

Not your Dad's Shining!

w/o our cannon

We had the Torres Christmas Party this weekend. About 70 people. Santa was there. Lots of photo ops. I got Diego to sit on Santa's lap, and suddenly the camera won't work. Arrgghhh. I know Sandee took some pics, so when I get those I will post them. Eric does not think he is going to be able to fix it. The lens will not go into the camera. It is stuck. We bought it not too long ago when our old digital was taking too long to take a picture. We gave that one to the kids and they gave theirs to Siobhan. The house had a total camera hand me down. Now we have no camera. We, of course still have the digital video camera. How else would Eric make all his wonderful dvd's of all of us.

I am home today. We only have one car and Carol had a doctor appointment, so I stayed home. It is always nice to have a random day off. Siobhan was supposed to go to school today. Her belly hurt. Funny, it is not yet 8am and she sure seems fine now. I am going to make her help me clean her room. She will wish she had gone to school.

I have lots to do, I wonder how much will actually get done. I think if I were a stay at home mom, I would have to schedule stuff. It is so hard to get everything done. You always have good intentions. Then some cute little kid comes up and wants you to read a book, or eat, or just hold him. Who would pass on that?!

BRUINS ROCK! USC stinks!

ahhh home

I am back. Back to work on Friday and back to work with a new position. I was offered to be the manager of my department. Sweet. It was nice to be back to work. At the Yuba office, everyone was wonderfully friendly. I had a great time, but getting back to your own office, it is like going home.

WE have a breakfast potluck for our department on Monday. What am I supposed to bring for breakfast? Tonight is our family holiday party. AFTER the UCLA vs USC game (UCLA WILL win!). It will be so nice to see family that we haven't seen since last year. There are just not enough days, you know?

Di still gone

This morning I woke to music. I thought "What IS that?". then I remembered I set the alarm clock to go off. At home I never use an alarm, so it threw me off.

It was about 30 degrees this morning and VERY windy. I picked up some coffee (in front of Home Depot of all places) and headed to work. We met with about 19 people and it went very well.

I got to leave a bit early. I was going to go to the movies but there wasn't anything I wanted to see. I enjoyed my room. I drove around and around looking for something to eat. I didn't want to eat somewhere but I didn't want fast food. I settled for a pita at Jack in the Box.

So get this! As if Wal-Mart isn't evil enough, they now sale gas! Bastards. Right up Bush's alley.

I head home tomorrow, to hold my babies and kiss my husband. I will be coming back within a few months. I will know this town soon!

Where's Di?

Here I am! Yuba city for work again. This time for two nights. I took a couple of pictures on my way. They are from my cell phone, and I was driving, so they aren't the best. I saw about 40 miles of this. I really cracked up when I saw a billboard for Carl's Jr, 10 more miles. 10 miles? I could find 15 Carl's Jr's within 10 miles at home.

The line at the airport was INSANE. About 30 minutes so I could remove my shoes, my laptop, have all liquids, lotions and inhaler in a bag seperate from my carry ons. So what happens, here you are with one carry on and a purse, Suddenly you are holding eight things. Who can move quickly holding on to all that stuff? That is when someone is going to steal your bags. You have to put SOMETHING down!

The people at my work here are SO nice. We just did some training today and tomorrow there are a few meetings. I am enjoying being alone. No husband, no kids. I miss them, but at the same time it is nice. Especially because I am getting paid for it! I went to dinner and just had my book for company. There was a dad with his little girl next to me. It made me miss the kids, but I called them. They were going out to dinner too.

I will be here tomorrow night too. I am sure I will be missing everyone like crazy tomorrow. We have so many things coming up. This weekend is the Torres Christmas Party. Siobhan's dance is coming up, Crazy busy.

Oh by the way, I wanted to let everyone know not to use Dollar Rent a car. They stink. I waited over an hour for a car because they didn't have any. All I could think about was that Seinfield episode where he told them they knew how to take the reservation they just didn't know how to hold the reservation. I mean, that is what a reservation is for right? There were a lot of people calling their offices and telling secretarys not to book them with Dollar anymore. ( I waited an hour last time too).

I am going to go enjoy being able to watch tv in bed. ta ta

ahhh, the holidays

One more day of work for a FOUR day holiday. How wonderful! Four days to be with my wonderful husband and enjoy our children four full days. Maybe we will actually get the Christmas lights up (Bradley) and spend some time with our Wii (no doubt there).

We are going to Siobhan's Nino's house for Thanksgiving dinner. It isn't very far but we think it will take about 3 to 4 hours to get there. The trip might not be fun but I know it will be once we get there. Siobhan is REALLY looking forward to it! Poor Nino Richard probably won't have a moment to himself!

Wii did it!

Bradley and I checked two Targets, K-mart and a Toys R Us and finally lucked out after over an hour wait at Costco. We got one! It is so sweet. I enjoyed the tennis and broke out in a sweat when I was boxing. This thing is way sweeter then I thought it would be. You should go get one. Oh, you probably can't because they are sold out EVERYWHERE!

Where are my Netflix? I sent two back Monday, today is Thursday and still nothing is recorded on the website that they got them back. I am waiting for my next Grey's Anatomy! I need to know what happens next! arrgghhh

Siobhan reading to Diego

What a good big sister!

Day of the Dead

Here are a few pictures from the Day of the Dead celebration in Santa Ana. Want to see more pictures? check out Eric's Flickr page

Deigo enjoying a birthday party

He DID NOT want to wear that hat. I told him if he took the hat off we were going home. This is the result!

Siobhan for Halloween

boo!

My new ride

Oh yeah check it out. I woke up last Sunday and told Eric "I think it might be nice to have a bike", He said "Get dressed, let's go". This is what we came home with. It has a working light and electric horn. Eric heard a girl telling her dad "Oh dad look, she is getting THAT one". Beautiful. Siobhan and I have been on about four bike rides since Sunday. We have a park VERY close by so it is a great place to ride. I think we did about four miles last time. Thanks babe! I love it! (I know, I still haven't picked a name yet...)

FRIDAY

Is there anyone out there who does not love Friday? The feeling that you have TWO whole days before you have to return to work (unless of course you work weekends!). Ahhh. Who cares there is dance to go to, a birthday party, UCLA to watch, it is still FREE time. So wonderful!

hmm, kinda true!

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, somebody had to come up with this, you know you're from California if:

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.


11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . .is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take away your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.

The future of OC

okay, it is just an idea, but maybe not a bad one. Many people who work in Orange County, live elsewhere. More and more in Riverside and Corona. I have a friend at work who travels a hundred miles a day for work. Crazy. The thing is, people can't afford to actually live in Orange County. Close to us they are building lofts that are going for 600,000 and up. Forget a two bedroom, who could afford it. There isn't much room in Orange County to build homes. The Irvine Company just sold the last really big lot of land. So more and more lofts, condos and attached homes are going up. No back yard. Association fees. Priced well over half a million dollars, some in not so great neighborhoods.

What's next? I think people will buy their homes in other counties, Riverside, San Bernardino, LA, and will NOT want to continue to drive so far to work. I think builders will start buying up neighborhoods, tear down the single family homes and rebuild. They will build more and more lofts. People will buy a loft just big enough to stay in Monday through Thursday and then head home to their "house" on the weekend. We will turn into a commuter town. We already have the commuter colleges, why not a whole county.

If you could see it. I mean they are taking a previously small parking lot, and up go some new homes. That is okay. Come buy up our home. With the money we make on our house, we will retire in Mexico.

Just an idea again

Here is a way for California to make some money. Many of our freeways have carpool lanes (2 or more people in the same care). What if CA charged a fee to use the carpool lane if you aren't a carpool? A sticker kinda like the one used for clean air cars. A fee based on the calendar year and prorated as the year goes on. Let's say the state charges, oh, $8000 a year. It is a lot. Fast track is now charging up to $8.50 each way. Used everyday, each way, that is about $4400 a year. So not everyone could afford it, which is the point. Charge a high fee, give people a similar sticker with the year in LARGE print, they can take the carpool lane. Fees will be used to repair, maintain and create the roadways. Okay, so maybe there are some kinks here and there, but all in all not a bad idea. If it happens, you saw it here!

How cute is she?

Siobhan enjoying herself at the Galaxy game!

thirsty?

Once again we woke up to the pipe busted in the kids bathroom and water all over the floor. This is the fourth water incident we have had altogether. I want to say an additional THANKS that we have tile throughout the house. Clean up is sooo easy.

Eric woke up to the noise. The water heater is in the garage next to our room so you can hear the water better from our room. Thank goodness since this is the second time he has woken up. So Eric and Krystal head out to the Home Depot for the part. They come back and somehow picked up the wrong one, back they go. All the water is cleaned up. Siobhan is ready for dance. I need a shower. They come back and Krystal fixes it lickty split! I am in the shower and we are out of the house in 15 minutes.

Siobhan's dance studio is non profit so we are selling candy for a fund raiser. I offered to take a few boxes. I DO work in a building with 70+ women. Chocolate is an EASY sell. She might have more next week. I could keep her in business selling just candy. hee hee

hold on to your...gulp, wallets

Alright! Here is a picture of our new 42 inch plasma tv.

I came home one day to find our tv was dead. I mean, line across the screen dead. We shopped around. We bought a 32 LCD. It was nice but we decided that the beautiful 42 plasma WOULD fit in our small living room. We packaged up the 32, paid THE difference and it is home. We turn it on and enjoy the show in the picture, La Fea mas Bella.

For some reason, who knows why, Eric decides to plug in our old, dead TV. WOW, Resurrection! It works! Here we are with this beautiful new TV, amazing. I said "We could take it back". Yeah right, like that is going to happen! We are waiting for some poor soul who needs a TV to come along.

No matter, I enjoy seeing "Fernando" (pictured above) practically life size. I mean, uh, what I meant to say was "UCLA football looks great on our new TV", really babe, that is what I meant.

(I would like to add that unlike most American households, we only have one tv. Of course now we have two but the old one isn't plugged in. Who needs TV when everyone has thier own computers!)

new, new, new

Getting ready to head over to the NEW office. I need to be there early today to help out because all the Administrators are out of town. There are still about 50 staff who haven't seen the office. They will be taken around in little groups and will end up in one of our conference rooms where we will have breakfast. The office manager is a very good friend of mine, so I was willing to get up a little early to help out.

Diego woke up last night crying about snakes. I bet it is the codeine in his Tylenol that made him to that. Poor baby!

Hmm, I wonder how long it will take me to travel the 3.4 miles to work.....

My beautiful little girl

Light the Night

Last night my mom, Krystal, Siobhan and I went to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Light the Night at Anaheim Stadium. We arrived at 3 to help set up the booth for UCI Medical Center. The whole thing was pretty cool. There were a lot of companies there but there were a lot of individual teams as well. Team so and so, whomever they were remembering or fighting for. That was amazing. So many people there to fight for the same cause. Of course, we walked in remembrance of my Dad.

It was really hard to hear people speak. Hard to hold the emotions back. In a few more days, it will have been a year since my dad passed away. All I seem to be able to think about is that night. Getting the phone call, thinking he was dead, then thinking it was okay, getting to the hospital only to find out it was too late.

So many people tell you that time heals. And I suppose it does somewhat. But you know what really makes the difference? The people around you. If my husband were any different kind of man I am sure he would have left me by now. He has had to deal with my rage, depression, and worse of all, my indifference. I think that is what breaks up marriages. How can you care about your family when you just don't care? He has been amazing and even in those days where things aren't aren't great, I am so thankful for him. He understands what my dad meant to me and he knows it is not easy what I am going through.

I used to think I wore my emotions on my sleeve. I am so easy to cry. I have since found out that that is NOT the case. I try so hard to hold everything in. Weird how you THINK you know yourself. I feel like a deflated balloon that is getting ready for a fight. I know that is probably not a very expressive analogy but that is how I feel. How can I prepare when there is nothing left?

is this kid 2 or 15?

It almost looks like one of those age enhancement photos.

four more

Today as I was passing the local high school on my way to work. I was cursing all the parents driving by. Parents making U-turns from the curb. Parents stopping in the middle of the street to let their lazy ass kids out. Parents who are going to allow their children to drive soon, when they themselves can not follow the simplest of driving rules. Do you think there is a policeman anywhere? A million tickets to give out, not to mention jay walking and not a policeman in site.

Driving home from work. I am getting on the freeway and there are those jerks turning right from the middle lane (not allowed there!). Driving me nuts. Does anyone follow the rules? What is so dang hard about following the rules? Alright, I speed on occasion (like when I am in the car) but that is about it.

So anyway, there I am ready to run into one of those stupid parents who couldn't bother to pull ALL the way over to the curb, when I think... I only have to do this 5 more days. No wait, today is now, so FOUR more days.

Once my office moves, no more going past the local high school. No more freeway. In face I could avoid students altogether. Schools start about 7:55 and I do not have to be to work until 8:30. Since I will not have to face the fwy and again will only be a few miles from work, I needn't worry about leaving early.

Oh yeah. All you parents who can't drop your children off properly or safely, you won't be seeing me honking at you much longer. Oh no, you shall not be seeing me!

Did you know?

The same voice for Jasmine (in Aladdin) is the same voice as Mulan.

Rip off, it is really two princesses for the price of one!

busy busy

We have all been to the eye doctor (minus Diego) and gotten our glasses. Siobhan can't wait to get hers. They should be here on Tuesday. How long do you think it will be before she hate wearing them? A week, two weeks?

Siobhan started her Flamenco and ballet classes yesterday. So cute! I thought for sure she would be out of it when she finished after TWO hours of dance.

We watched UCLA beat Rice last night. We will be heading out to a LA Galaxy game later.

The kids have had all doctor appointments needed. Bradley has an appointment Tuesday about 8am for a dermatologist, then I only have to worry about dentist appointments.

I need to take my car in. Sometimes it does not want to go into gear when I turn it on.

We have to decide if we need a new dryer or not. It is currently taking about 2/3 cycles to get the closes dry. It gets warm. The kids are going to check the the lint duct and see if there is something stuck somewhere. I would hate to buy a new one only to find out it wasn't the dryer in the first place!

The kids have actually spent some time over the weekend on homework. WOW. Without being told even. I wonder if this has anything to do with having to have A's to go to MacWorld in Jan .

This is the last week at old building at work. A week from tomorrow we will have completed the move. I will then be only minutes away from work. I could actually come home for lunch should I ever decide to do such a thing!

Tomorrow...bliss

That's right, the kids start school tomorrow. Bradley will be in 10th grade and Krystal will be a senior. WOW.

Took the kids to eye doctor yesterday. We found out that Siobhan (4) is pretty far sighted. She needs glasses. She was so excited to get them. She wanted pink and finally settled on some Barbie one's. She is upset that she has to wait a week to get them. Let's see if she still likes them in a couple of weeks.

Four hundred eighty dollars and twenty cents

That is the amount of my electric bill. $480.20. I am taking donations, ha ha I accept paypal, all major credit cards and personal checks, hell, I will accept pennies too. hee hee

The price of keeping cool. Well worth it. These past few weeks have been bad!

Fun in the sun

Here are a couple of pictures from the beach on Sunday. Want to see more? Check out Eric's Flickr page

One for me, one for Eric

Okay, so my new favorite show is La Fea mas Bella. It is in Spanish, I hardly understand a thing that is being said, but it is still enjoyable. And funny. Here is a picture of the main male actor. Hot huh?





Here is a picutre of the chick Eric thinks it hot on the show. Frankly I don't see what the difference is between her and me. (yeah right!)

I'm here

but my thoughts are everywhere. So much so say, I sit down, nada. I have some family that have blogs now. I will post those a little bit later. I am so proud..

Kids start school in another week or so. Summer past so fast. Krystal will be a senior. Man am I old!

We will be going out tonight. Woo hoo. Food, drinks, friends and family, what more could you ask for? Well, to have all that in Spain maybe!

I'm here

but my thoughts are everywhere. So much so say, I sit down, nada. I have some family that have blogs now. I will post those a little bit later. I am so proud..

Kids start school in another week or so. Summer past so fast. Krystal will be a senior. Man am I old!

We will be going out tonight. Woo hoo. Food, drinks, friends and family, what more could you ask for? Well, to have all that in Spain maybe!