you know what bugs?

When I am driving or at work and I think, "I will blog that later", and I forget what the hell it was. That drives me nuts! Of course it was something wonderful, mindblowing even. Aaagggghhhh

I can't believe it

tomorrow Siobhan will be 4. WOW! Four years ago we had our beautiful little girl. I remember how we all waited for her. So many of our family and friends were there. We didn't have to buy diapers for six months. I love that little girl and I am in no hurry for her to grow up (even if she is)!

time out

I used time out for the first time on Diego today. He keeps screaming when he doesn't get his way, and frankly I have had enough. So I just put him on the floor in the living room. I only had to re-sit him down once. Okay, yeah, he watched tv a little bit, but he seemed to get it. I am sure there will be lots of time outs from now on!

So true

Siobhan's says

Siobhan saw this sign and asked if we were going to Arrow Point. Dang, is she cute!

wow! Check this out!

Siobhan's first progress report
Is she too cool or what?

In my attempt

to save money, I am finding that we need less meat than I thought. I used to use twice as much meat as I have been. I am glad to say we might get a little healthier too. There are five of us that eat dinner so it isn't as though we were having TOO much. Now I look at the meat and I wonder, "Is this going to be enough?" but it usually is. Strange. My wonderful husband has been going to the store too. That helps because he buys different things than I do. I am going to go now and look through K's Rachael Ray's cookbook and plan some meals. I am so tired of eating the same thing over and over. Plus my friend Julie brought her cookbooks to work, I only need to take the time to look through them. (I AM supposed to be working after all.)

auto defrost

I am so anti defrosting anything in the microwave. I always put it in water to defrost. Well today MOST of the ground beef was thawed. I had a little section that was still rock hard. I put it in the microwave, hit auto-defrost, and WOW, it was done. It didn't look weird or change colors either. I will be using that baby again, I can tell you!

hold on to your hats, literally

check this out: for Anaheim, CA. Tonight: Clear and windy. Low 43F. Winds NE at 15 to 25 mph. Winds 40-60 mph in and below canyons and passes.

The wind is crazy!

cried many times today

and I am so tired of it. Sometimes I have to fight just to control myself. I am so upset about so many things. I can't believe Siobhan will be turning 4. I know 4 is still little, but damn they grow up so fast. I still haven't been to one of Bradley's high school soccer games and Krystal will be starting track soon. We all need to go the eye doctor. I need to go to the dentist. I need to go for a check up at the doctor.

Anyway, I am sad about my dad. I need to make all those appointments and still try not to miss work since we are going crazy at my particular job. I can make some after hours. I am going to make a check list tomorrow and get started on it. So many little things, those are the worst. I thank God for my healthy family who I cherish and make me feel loved everyday. My husband is the best. He is trying so hard to make me feel happy. I only wish there were something he could do. Of course knowing he is just trying means everything. I never thought about how I it would really be when my dad died. I didn't realize it would be effecting me for so long. I just didn't know...

I can't sleep. I am so tired but the sleep doesn't want to come tonight. Boy, will I regret it in the morning. Too bad no one is on iChat right now.

This week Siobhan has a make up ballet class on Wed., Sat I have something to do and so does Eric with Krystal. My brother wants to take Bradley golfing and I have to ask my mom to take Siobhan to ballet (maybe she will watch Diego too). Sunday is Natalie's baby shower. The baby is due 2-12, not too long now. Hopefully a quick and easy labor.

So could I go on anymore? Geez, go to bed already!

Being alone isn't all it is cracked up to be. Everyone else has been asleep since about 9:30. I watched a couple of episodes of Six Feet Under, thanks to Netflix, and now...nothing. It is too quiet. Be careful what you wish for they always say. Well they are right. Eric was up for about 3 minutes, checking his e-mail. I am waiting for a Harry Potter movie to be on, something to watch anyway. I might read. I am currently reading I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou. Krystal checked it out from the library, I didn't have anything to read, so here I am. Good book, obviously!

I think I feel the sadness creeping again. Could just be that I am alone and so not used to that. I just want to cry, or eat chocolate (which we don't have thank goodness!) Sometimes I wonder why it has to trickle in, the sadness I mean. Why not come full force and get it over with? Maybe it is something else. Who knows. I think for the most part I am usually a very happy or at least satisfied person. Every now and then I feel like the worst person on the planet. I let my husband down over and over. I never stay as calm as I would like to with my kids (K and B usually deserve it though). I don't even always do what I think is right. But at least I know I am a good person. I think of other people's feeling, but not to the point where I don't think about myself. I am a complete bitch most of the time (my family would agree, hey, I like to say what is on my mind) but my capacity to love, man, it is extreme.

Oh, do I hear someone moving around? Maybe Eric is done napping and wants to watch Harry Potter with me (highly unlikely), we so don't agree on movies there! ta everyone!

hey hey hey

I feel like I haven't really written much lately. I think it is because I am keeping a secret. You will all know in about a week or so. So, I am always afraid it will come out. Like my other personality will let them slip out. Too bad it isn't a more organized and clean personality. ha ha

So much still going on. I still need to go see my little cousin, Hunter, who will probably be 12 by the time I get over there. Tomorrow is ballet and Siobhan and I have a birthday party for one of her friends from preschool. Next weekend I have something to do that is part of my surprise and I have Natalie's family baby shower to go to. At least this time Krystal and Siobhan can go so I don't have to hear K complain about not being able to go.

Getting excited about the new job at work although I have sooooo much to do before. Of course, I will be doing both jobs for a while. I am okay with that, I am going to miss my current job. I love it and am pretty darn good at it too!

You know how everything is becoming paperless? Which I love by the way. Too bad you can't go paperless at the markets. I am so tired of all the store ads that come in the mail. I rarely look at them. Why not save money and a tree and e-mail me everything. I will just delete it anyway. When they finally come up with this idea, make sure I get the credit!

Woo Hoo

On Jan. 1st, I posted some things I wanted to change about myself this year. One of them was to get a promotion at work, well I can check that one off! WOO HOO. Not only am I totally excited about the job, I am happy to mark one off my list. I think if I thought of it as a running list I might work harder to actually do the things I set out to do.

I think this year it going to bring big changes all around for me. Real big ones. That was number one to actually accomplish. Wait until I tell you about the next one. I promise you won't believe it!

(Thanks babe for the dinner, it was YUMMY!)

new office mate

I have a new office mate as of yesterday. I have known her for years, so I know we will get along just fine. I was talking to her about my dad today. It was so sweet that she had tears in her eyes while I was telling her my story. WOW. I was telling her how I feel like I haven't dealt with my feelings about him being gone yet. It is so weird to actually tell someone that I know my dad is dead but well, I am not sure I REALLY believe it yet.

My office isn't the same without Natalie. Weird. Her desk is all bare. I think she left one post it on her board. We made her chair all short so it will fit under the desk though. (I have to walk between the two desks to get out, oh the view I have of the park SO makes up for it!)

Eric and I are getting ready to go for a walk. I think it might be Siobhan's bed time by the time we go but she can wait until we get back. I love putting her to bed.

Natalie's shower

It was held last night at the El Torito by work. We had about 30 people show up. She got so many gifts. About half way through my friend kept getting drinks without ordering them. I was like, what is going on? Her husband was over at the bar and was sending drinks over for a bunch of us. How sweet is that? He joined us later and KEPT buying drinks, too bad I was driving (they ended up taking a cab home!)

Nat got a bunch of gifts, so many clothes. WOW. It reminds me of the gift of life and glad I am not giving it anymore! hee hee. It helps when you see someone almost 9 months prego. THAT so does not need to be again. (sorry babe)

This week has gone by so quickly. How is it Wed evening already? Practically time to do laundry again.

I've been tagged

Fun with fours, thanks Mary. Well, here goes!

Four jobs you've had:
worked at the movies (loved it!)
worked at the bookstore during college
at a group home
currently, at a non-profit agency that pays for child care for low income families

Four movies you could watch over and over:
easy Sleepless in Seattle
any Harry Potter movie (which I didn't think I would like at all)
Spinal Tap
Of Mice and Men

Four places you've lived:
Jackson, Tennessee
Garden Grove, California
Orange, California
Anaheim, California

Four tv shows you love to watch:
Eastenders
Desperate Housewives
My Name is Earl
MXC

Four of your favorite books:
I could NEVER limit it to four
Anything by Dean Koontz
anything else I can get my hands on

four places you have been on vacation:
Spain
France
Switzerland
Mexico

Four websites you visit daily:
Rebekah's page
boingboing
blog visits
woot

Four of your favorite foods:
strawberries
pizza
orange chicken (Chinese)
popcorn

Four places you would rather be right now:
Mexico
Spain
somewhere alone with my husband
off to somewhere I have never been

Four bloggers you are tagging:
Andrea
Krystal
Bradley
Mackeydoodle

Movie quote

What movie is this quote from?
"I love my dead gay son?"

My Dad

God bless him!

a sign of things to come

So, I heard Diego was a BRAT yesterday. I saw a little bit of it but by the time I got home, he was pretty much himself. I think maybe he enjoyed being home with just Daddy the day before and was mad. Who knows! Let's just hope it was short lived, whatever it was!

It is now about 2:30AM! Am I nuts? Can't sleep. I wonder, seriously, what it would be to get a wonderful, FULL, nights sleep. Just one! No Siobhan waking up in the middle of the night because her panties are wet (of course, she never mentions that her whole bed is too), or just waking up like now. For who knows what reason. I had to check Woot and see if it was something I liked (which it was but nothing I could afford). I usually check every night at 10pm when they put up the new item but I was in bed reading and forgot too. The writing on that site is SO funny. Those guys crack me up! And who else would throw in a blender with a big screen TV? No one, that's who.

My car has been "clicking" for months and we finally got it fixed. The only reason it took so long was because my Eurovan is like a kid. Clicking all over the place until I take it to get fixed, then suddenly, the noise is gone. (Like when your kid has a fever for three days until you get to the doctors office and they look at you like you are crazy because it is 97.6). The left axle was jacked. We are all well now, thank goodness. We can't exactly fit two adults and four kids in Eric's Passat.

I think I might try and go back to sleep now. Sleep tight people!

Breaking loose

Tomorrow I am going out after work, Happy Hour, for my friends 50th birthday party. Woo Hoo. No kids, no nada. Just friends and drinks. Can't wait!