HEY everyone

Nan sent pictures. In case you don't know who Nan is, she was our exchange student. She lives in Thailand and stayed with us for a year. She went back home in June of 2005, soon after Diego was born. I was so glad she was able to be here when Diego was born (she changed diapers too, BONUS). Siobhan still talks about her every day or so. She will be going to college in June. I hope we keep getting lots of pictures from her. I miss her!


Here are Nan's pics

lunch?

How come when it is time for your long break at work, it is always called a lunch? If you go in to work at 5am and you "lunch" is at 8 or 9, it is called lunch. If you work late and you have your "lunch" at 1am, it is called lunch. Why is that?

Siobhan's boo boo

If have kids, ever known someone who has had kids, or might have seen a kid you have to see this. It might take a minute or two to load, but I promise it is worth it!
HERE

Monday, Monday

Yes, I SHOULD be getting ready for work. I hope everyone has a wonderful week. This weekend was busy busy on Saturday but Sunday was as it should it be, nice and relaxing. How was everyone else's weekend?

PAIN

Yikes, I think I mentioned that I had a bad blister from wearing Eric's socks. Today, oh Lord! We were supposed to walk 7 miles. After about, um, 3 ish, my blister (which was TOTALLY open) was hurting so bad that I was walking weird. They told me to stop and turn around. I am so glad I listened because by the time we got back my ankle on the non-blistered foot hurt so bad. I swear I will never change socks again. I was so okay before. I am going to pay for those socks, I just know it. Hopefully not much longer than a day or two.

At least I got to know someone else in the Team In Training, so that was nice. My friends, Julie, still kicked my ass though. She rocks! You can visit her TNT site too.
CLICK HERE TO SEE IT

I was thinking the other day why it is so hard to accept my dad's death. I wonder if it was partly due to the events leading to it. My aunt (who lives across the street from my dad) called and said there was an ambulance there and she wanted to let me know. I called and spoke to Gabi (my dad's wife) who was very upset. After a few moments, I realized she was telling me that there was nothing they could do. I said "He's dead" and threw the phone at Eric.

Eric talked to her a while and figured out that they were taking my dad to the hospital. We were waiting for Krystal to finish dance, we went home, I tried calling Gabi but she was still waiting at the hospital, she didn't know anything. I left everyone at home because I honestly thought it would be another false alarm. I called my friend Natalie on the way to the hospital and I said "He can't die today, nobody dies on a Tuesday right?". When I went in the doctor had just finished telling Gabi. I held myself together, asked some questions, asked if we could see him, etc.

Maybe if it had all happened the first time, I might have cried my flipping eyes out and be on my way to dealing with things. I don't know. I still cry just about everyday. I miss him so much. I think every-time I put on my walking shoes, I think, "this is for all the other daughters out there".

I can't even begin to thank everyone who has been so kind to donate money for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I really can't, but everyone has helped my deal with the pain of no longer having my dad with me. Please check out my site and see how amazing other people are!

https://www.active.com/donations/fundraise_public.cfm?key=DJasso

Thanks again!

a sad joy

I realized today that Diego is growing up. I know, he is only 18 months old, but he is getting bigger. He is understanding so much better what he can and can not do. You can leave him alone for 10-15 minutes without worrying that his head is the toilet or he is eating something out of the trash. That is not to say we don't keep an eye on him, but you can take a shower, or put laundry in without worry. While we were out at dinner tonight we ordered him a kids meal, he almost finished it all. This kid can eat but is obviously also growing up. Our baby. The last one. Number four. There will be no more. So it is bittersweet.

I will enjoy the small bits and pieces that come when I am able to sit and read four pages of a book on the couch. I will not repeatedly ask "Diego, what are you doing?" every few minutes. I will let him be in his room without the worry that he has found the one non-age appropriate toy to play with or that he may be eating pages out of a book (well, that is still a concern!)

But at the same time, there are less and less long moments that he will sit still so I can hold him. No more will I feel like the most important person in his whole life. No more Diego "being a baby", as he is slowly growing into a little boy. Sad. Happy. Sad. Sorry honey, not sad enough to have another one though. Are you nuts!

A day at the beach

Well not a whole day but some of the day anyway. Here is picture of Diego enjoying the sand, click HERE to see some more!

Natalie's beuatiful baby girl

I was going to go see her this weekend. What happened to the weekend?

6 miles

I walked six miles today. Man, I can't believe I did it! I so rock! It even rained on us. I was soaked. I was going to tell Eric that I sweat all that but my shirt dried before I got home. We do seven miles next week, piece of cake (oh no!) hee hee

I almost forgot to add something. They always tell us not to change anything. Don't get used to one kind of sock for example and then switch. Well, today I wore different underwear and man, am I paying the price! Yikes!

A little more than half way

for fundraising that is. Check it out HERE. We walked 4 miles last Saturday. I did 1.5 on Sunday and either 2.5 or 3 yesterday. (I finally stopped counting and just walked!). We are doing 6 miles tomorrow, and it is supposed to rain! YIKES. I don't think I will be taking Siobhan to ballet tomorrow. I think that is going to fall on Daddy! I think I will be pretty wiped out. Who knows what time I will be getting home. Six miles, it will take me at LEAST a couple hours. Man, my butt and legs better start looking good soon, ha ha!

date for lunch

The husband and I went to lunch today, ALONE! WOW. There were quite a few loud kids behind us and I was so glad we went without any. We work so close to one another but usually don't meet for lunch so it was nice.

I love you babe!

I think I need a dentist

Eric found this show online called The IT crowd. Man, it cracks me up. It is about these two computer nerds and a Relationship Manager. Here is a link about the show. Me Me
As it is we are watching it only on the computer but I would love to be able to watch this show on tv. Man, it is geeky funny.

Still need to go to the dentist ( I think I may have a cavity) and to the eye doctor (I guess these little black things are not supposed to float around in front of everything). I have to get my car a smog check (months ago really, sorry babe!) and take my car for an estimate for repairs. The kids need to go to the eye doctor too. Bradley starts soccer practice tomorrow night. Calgon take me away.....

Ha ha, really it isn't that bad, I just need to actually MAKE appointments for the dentist and the eye doctor. I will work on that today. YES I will accomplish some of my tasks today. I WILL!

Gotta go get ready for work. Have a wonderful day!

Look who fell asleep while listening to her iPod!

pictures, pictures, pictures

Here are some pics from Siobhan's birthday trip to Disneyland. We had such a great time. It might take a minute to load.

Four miles

I walked four miles today. Almost pain free too. I don't know what happened but I hope it keeps happening (or not happening!).

My mentor Melody is making it so easy. She is someone I really get along with so it isn't so hard to spend four miles getting to know someone that you like. I really hope we build a lasting relationship.

Siobhan's cousins (Tori and Valerie) joined us for Friend Day at Siobhan's ballet class. I think they might join. That would be really cool! It seems Siobhan was a little over excited at having her friends there and got in trouble and had to sit in the corner. ha ha At least she isn't usually like that.

My weekend started out wonderful. I am so proud of myself. I am so thankful for everyone who is helping me raise money! Thanks everyone!

this, that and the other

So much is going on. First, my foot is finally better. Thanks to my doctors note, I have been able to wear my new walking shoes to work. (If one more person asks me if I hurt my foot while in training, while laughing....) I am going to go for a walk tomorrow so hopefully the 4 miles on Sat. doesn't kill me.

I did some work for my new job today. I am really excited about it, but I am so sad to leave the old one. It is hard letting go.

My fund raising is going well. Hey, that doesn't mean I don't still need LOTS of money though!

I am taking Siobhan to Princess Disney on Ice next month. Some friends from work and I are getting together with our daughters. She is going to be so excited. I can't wait!

Looks like we are finally going to get our new patio. Next is the bathroom!

What is everyone doing this weekend? I am hoping for a relaxing weekend. Eric and the kids have Monday off. I will be hard at work. My friend at work gave me some books to read so at least I will have something relaxing!

check this out!

This is a picture Eric's friend took. Want to check out his blog? He is traveling all over on his bike. CLICK HERE
Can you imagine seeing that here?

Disneyland

WOW, we had a great time. It was just Eric, Siobhan and I. We really got to spend the whole focused on her. It was wonderful. We spoiled her like crazy. The whole day was about her. I will post some pictures soon. A special thanks to Louis and Wendy! You guys are the best.

Oh, I would like to add, I think I should get Mother of the Year. I walked all around Disneyland and my foot was KILLING me. But I did it. I did it for my little girl. Yes we could have gone another time, but she knew we were going on Sunday. It was worth it. She makes everything wonderful. I did come home and slept for about 14 hours. I was trying to be Sleeping Beauty.

I hope my foot feels better tomorrow because better or not, I am going to try and walk on it. That marathon isn't going to wait for me!

My first 3 miles

I completed my first three miles with my Team In Training yesterday. I had bad pain in my shins and I got a blister (new shoes). I was the last one to finish, but I DID finish. My mentor stayed with me and we talked while completing those three miles. Okay so get this, my body is sore but it is a good sore. The kind where it says "thanks for actually using me". But my left foot on the outside, all along my foot, is freaking killing me. And I mean, it hurts! I don't know why. Is it bone? muscle? I don't know. I tried a cool pack, icy hot, massaging it, soaking it, pain medicine, nothing will work. I have been up most of the night because it hurts so bad. For some odd reason it seems to hurt more when I am NOT on it. Thank goodness for that because we are going to Disneyland today.

Anyone know why it might hurt there? Really does anyone know anything I can do to make it stop? I mean, I even cried during the night it hurts so bad. I can usually handle things, of course not sleeping doesn't help!

Help me!

My secret

Before I spoke of something going on and now it is time to tell you what it is. I sent letters to many, many people so I wanted to give those people a chance to get the letters before I posted it here. Hopefully everyone got them today (maybe tomorrow, so keep a look out!).

So, I have joined Team in Training and will be completing a marathon in June. I am completing this in honor of my dad, David R. Girard. I know most of you know he passed away in September from multiple myeloma, which is a type of Leukemia. I can't do anything to bring him back but I can start to heal, and I really think this is the way for me to do it!

I am raising money for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I would be grateful for any help that anyone can give. HERE is the website for my fund raising. Even if you can't help out, maybe you can check it often for my progress. I am sure I will be writing a lot about it here too. Please feel free to forward my site to anyone who might want to help or just check out Team in Training.

We start training this Saturday. I still need to get some good shoes. It will be A LOT of work for me. But I know I can do it! I feel like a changed person already.

you know what bugs?

When I am driving or at work and I think, "I will blog that later", and I forget what the hell it was. That drives me nuts! Of course it was something wonderful, mindblowing even. Aaagggghhhh

I can't believe it

tomorrow Siobhan will be 4. WOW! Four years ago we had our beautiful little girl. I remember how we all waited for her. So many of our family and friends were there. We didn't have to buy diapers for six months. I love that little girl and I am in no hurry for her to grow up (even if she is)!

time out

I used time out for the first time on Diego today. He keeps screaming when he doesn't get his way, and frankly I have had enough. So I just put him on the floor in the living room. I only had to re-sit him down once. Okay, yeah, he watched tv a little bit, but he seemed to get it. I am sure there will be lots of time outs from now on!

So true

Siobhan's says

Siobhan saw this sign and asked if we were going to Arrow Point. Dang, is she cute!

wow! Check this out!

Siobhan's first progress report
Is she too cool or what?

In my attempt

to save money, I am finding that we need less meat than I thought. I used to use twice as much meat as I have been. I am glad to say we might get a little healthier too. There are five of us that eat dinner so it isn't as though we were having TOO much. Now I look at the meat and I wonder, "Is this going to be enough?" but it usually is. Strange. My wonderful husband has been going to the store too. That helps because he buys different things than I do. I am going to go now and look through K's Rachael Ray's cookbook and plan some meals. I am so tired of eating the same thing over and over. Plus my friend Julie brought her cookbooks to work, I only need to take the time to look through them. (I AM supposed to be working after all.)

auto defrost

I am so anti defrosting anything in the microwave. I always put it in water to defrost. Well today MOST of the ground beef was thawed. I had a little section that was still rock hard. I put it in the microwave, hit auto-defrost, and WOW, it was done. It didn't look weird or change colors either. I will be using that baby again, I can tell you!

hold on to your hats, literally

check this out: for Anaheim, CA. Tonight: Clear and windy. Low 43F. Winds NE at 15 to 25 mph. Winds 40-60 mph in and below canyons and passes.

The wind is crazy!

cried many times today

and I am so tired of it. Sometimes I have to fight just to control myself. I am so upset about so many things. I can't believe Siobhan will be turning 4. I know 4 is still little, but damn they grow up so fast. I still haven't been to one of Bradley's high school soccer games and Krystal will be starting track soon. We all need to go the eye doctor. I need to go to the dentist. I need to go for a check up at the doctor.

Anyway, I am sad about my dad. I need to make all those appointments and still try not to miss work since we are going crazy at my particular job. I can make some after hours. I am going to make a check list tomorrow and get started on it. So many little things, those are the worst. I thank God for my healthy family who I cherish and make me feel loved everyday. My husband is the best. He is trying so hard to make me feel happy. I only wish there were something he could do. Of course knowing he is just trying means everything. I never thought about how I it would really be when my dad died. I didn't realize it would be effecting me for so long. I just didn't know...

I can't sleep. I am so tired but the sleep doesn't want to come tonight. Boy, will I regret it in the morning. Too bad no one is on iChat right now.

This week Siobhan has a make up ballet class on Wed., Sat I have something to do and so does Eric with Krystal. My brother wants to take Bradley golfing and I have to ask my mom to take Siobhan to ballet (maybe she will watch Diego too). Sunday is Natalie's baby shower. The baby is due 2-12, not too long now. Hopefully a quick and easy labor.

So could I go on anymore? Geez, go to bed already!

Being alone isn't all it is cracked up to be. Everyone else has been asleep since about 9:30. I watched a couple of episodes of Six Feet Under, thanks to Netflix, and now...nothing. It is too quiet. Be careful what you wish for they always say. Well they are right. Eric was up for about 3 minutes, checking his e-mail. I am waiting for a Harry Potter movie to be on, something to watch anyway. I might read. I am currently reading I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou. Krystal checked it out from the library, I didn't have anything to read, so here I am. Good book, obviously!

I think I feel the sadness creeping again. Could just be that I am alone and so not used to that. I just want to cry, or eat chocolate (which we don't have thank goodness!) Sometimes I wonder why it has to trickle in, the sadness I mean. Why not come full force and get it over with? Maybe it is something else. Who knows. I think for the most part I am usually a very happy or at least satisfied person. Every now and then I feel like the worst person on the planet. I let my husband down over and over. I never stay as calm as I would like to with my kids (K and B usually deserve it though). I don't even always do what I think is right. But at least I know I am a good person. I think of other people's feeling, but not to the point where I don't think about myself. I am a complete bitch most of the time (my family would agree, hey, I like to say what is on my mind) but my capacity to love, man, it is extreme.

Oh, do I hear someone moving around? Maybe Eric is done napping and wants to watch Harry Potter with me (highly unlikely), we so don't agree on movies there! ta everyone!

hey hey hey

I feel like I haven't really written much lately. I think it is because I am keeping a secret. You will all know in about a week or so. So, I am always afraid it will come out. Like my other personality will let them slip out. Too bad it isn't a more organized and clean personality. ha ha

So much still going on. I still need to go see my little cousin, Hunter, who will probably be 12 by the time I get over there. Tomorrow is ballet and Siobhan and I have a birthday party for one of her friends from preschool. Next weekend I have something to do that is part of my surprise and I have Natalie's family baby shower to go to. At least this time Krystal and Siobhan can go so I don't have to hear K complain about not being able to go.

Getting excited about the new job at work although I have sooooo much to do before. Of course, I will be doing both jobs for a while. I am okay with that, I am going to miss my current job. I love it and am pretty darn good at it too!

You know how everything is becoming paperless? Which I love by the way. Too bad you can't go paperless at the markets. I am so tired of all the store ads that come in the mail. I rarely look at them. Why not save money and a tree and e-mail me everything. I will just delete it anyway. When they finally come up with this idea, make sure I get the credit!

Woo Hoo

On Jan. 1st, I posted some things I wanted to change about myself this year. One of them was to get a promotion at work, well I can check that one off! WOO HOO. Not only am I totally excited about the job, I am happy to mark one off my list. I think if I thought of it as a running list I might work harder to actually do the things I set out to do.

I think this year it going to bring big changes all around for me. Real big ones. That was number one to actually accomplish. Wait until I tell you about the next one. I promise you won't believe it!

(Thanks babe for the dinner, it was YUMMY!)

new office mate

I have a new office mate as of yesterday. I have known her for years, so I know we will get along just fine. I was talking to her about my dad today. It was so sweet that she had tears in her eyes while I was telling her my story. WOW. I was telling her how I feel like I haven't dealt with my feelings about him being gone yet. It is so weird to actually tell someone that I know my dad is dead but well, I am not sure I REALLY believe it yet.

My office isn't the same without Natalie. Weird. Her desk is all bare. I think she left one post it on her board. We made her chair all short so it will fit under the desk though. (I have to walk between the two desks to get out, oh the view I have of the park SO makes up for it!)

Eric and I are getting ready to go for a walk. I think it might be Siobhan's bed time by the time we go but she can wait until we get back. I love putting her to bed.

Natalie's shower

It was held last night at the El Torito by work. We had about 30 people show up. She got so many gifts. About half way through my friend kept getting drinks without ordering them. I was like, what is going on? Her husband was over at the bar and was sending drinks over for a bunch of us. How sweet is that? He joined us later and KEPT buying drinks, too bad I was driving (they ended up taking a cab home!)

Nat got a bunch of gifts, so many clothes. WOW. It reminds me of the gift of life and glad I am not giving it anymore! hee hee. It helps when you see someone almost 9 months prego. THAT so does not need to be again. (sorry babe)

This week has gone by so quickly. How is it Wed evening already? Practically time to do laundry again.

I've been tagged

Fun with fours, thanks Mary. Well, here goes!

Four jobs you've had:
worked at the movies (loved it!)
worked at the bookstore during college
at a group home
currently, at a non-profit agency that pays for child care for low income families

Four movies you could watch over and over:
easy Sleepless in Seattle
any Harry Potter movie (which I didn't think I would like at all)
Spinal Tap
Of Mice and Men

Four places you've lived:
Jackson, Tennessee
Garden Grove, California
Orange, California
Anaheim, California

Four tv shows you love to watch:
Eastenders
Desperate Housewives
My Name is Earl
MXC

Four of your favorite books:
I could NEVER limit it to four
Anything by Dean Koontz
anything else I can get my hands on

four places you have been on vacation:
Spain
France
Switzerland
Mexico

Four websites you visit daily:
Rebekah's page
boingboing
blog visits
woot

Four of your favorite foods:
strawberries
pizza
orange chicken (Chinese)
popcorn

Four places you would rather be right now:
Mexico
Spain
somewhere alone with my husband
off to somewhere I have never been

Four bloggers you are tagging:
Andrea
Krystal
Bradley
Mackeydoodle

Movie quote

What movie is this quote from?
"I love my dead gay son?"

My Dad

God bless him!

a sign of things to come

So, I heard Diego was a BRAT yesterday. I saw a little bit of it but by the time I got home, he was pretty much himself. I think maybe he enjoyed being home with just Daddy the day before and was mad. Who knows! Let's just hope it was short lived, whatever it was!

It is now about 2:30AM! Am I nuts? Can't sleep. I wonder, seriously, what it would be to get a wonderful, FULL, nights sleep. Just one! No Siobhan waking up in the middle of the night because her panties are wet (of course, she never mentions that her whole bed is too), or just waking up like now. For who knows what reason. I had to check Woot and see if it was something I liked (which it was but nothing I could afford). I usually check every night at 10pm when they put up the new item but I was in bed reading and forgot too. The writing on that site is SO funny. Those guys crack me up! And who else would throw in a blender with a big screen TV? No one, that's who.

My car has been "clicking" for months and we finally got it fixed. The only reason it took so long was because my Eurovan is like a kid. Clicking all over the place until I take it to get fixed, then suddenly, the noise is gone. (Like when your kid has a fever for three days until you get to the doctors office and they look at you like you are crazy because it is 97.6). The left axle was jacked. We are all well now, thank goodness. We can't exactly fit two adults and four kids in Eric's Passat.

I think I might try and go back to sleep now. Sleep tight people!

Breaking loose

Tomorrow I am going out after work, Happy Hour, for my friends 50th birthday party. Woo Hoo. No kids, no nada. Just friends and drinks. Can't wait!

check this out. Something to think about

This is from Yahoo News! I cut the story down so it wasn't so long. I am going to get rid of the cough meds I have.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Over-the-counter cough medicines do little good and may harm children, U.S. experts said in new guidelines released on Monday.

"Cough is the number one reason why patients seek medical attention," Dr. Richard Irwin of the University of Massachusetts Medical School, who chaired the guidelines panel, said in a statement.
"There is no clinical evidence that over-the-counter cough expectorants or suppressants actually relieve cough," Irwin added.

Dr. Peter Dicpinigaitis, a panel member who runs a cough clinic at the Montefiore Medical Center in New York, said cough medications might help some patients. But they carry the risk of oversedation -- especially dangerous to children, he said in a telephone interview.

Under new guidelines, adults with acute cough or upper airway cough syndrome, commonly known as postnasal drip, should use an older variety of antihistamine with a decongestant.
And while coughs in children are worrisome and annoying, cough syrup is not the answer, Irwin said.

"Cough is very common in children. However, cough and cold medicines are not useful in children and can actually be harmful," he said. "In most cases, a cough that is unrelated to chronic lung conditions, environmental influences, or other specific factors, will resolve on its own."

The guidelines follow several studies that have suggested that nonprescription cough remedies do little more than offer comfort to desperate patients.

Researchers reported in July of 2004 that neither dextromethorphan, often listed on labels as DM, or diphenhydramine, an antihistamine, offered any more relief to children suffering from cough than sugar water.

The study, published in the journal Pediatrics, showed that children usually recovered quickly whatever the treatment.

Everyone in the house is asleep and I am watching TV. I don't even remember what. All of a sudden, I am crying. I can't believe Siobhan is going to be 4. I mean, at three, she is still really little. She is only 3. We say that all the time. When she is 4 she just almost school age.

oh, I know they have to get older. I see the older one's everyday. There is still Diego but it really doesn't make it any easier. I am going to be a wreck when she starts school, I just know it!

my wonderful husband

I mentioned how we bought some frames yesterday. Well last night he brought two in our bedroom and said when you are ready I will put these up. There was two BEAUTIFUL pictures of my Dad. One was from a very long time ago and one from our wedding. I know the old one was a lot of work. They are both so great. Of course I cried, but I am looking very forward to having them up where I can see his handsome face everyday.

I will ask him to e-mail them to me so I can post them here.

whatcha doin?

Well, lots of goings on over here. Yesterday some friends of mine (and me!) gave blood at work. They had a blood mobile come. Even with an appointment it took over an hour. Yikes! It is a wonder they find people to do actually wait that long. Lucky for them I was on work time. One of my friends, Elisha, was so scared. She was cracking us up. I told her I want to be there when she has a baby.

Today we took Siobhan to ballet, grabbed a quick bite to eat, and off to Aaron Brothers for the one cent frame sale. We got home just as the electrician, Sam, was arriving. He was great and fixed our outlet so our water softener works again. Eric was going to put up a new light in our room and seems we are missing some hardware. So he and Krystal have run off to Home Depot where they might also pick up a nice new cabinet for over the washer and dryer.

Diego has been sleeping the afternoon away. We sent Bradley to find Eric's mom at Albertson's and help her with her groceries. I, as usual, am here.

What would be more cool than getting paid to sit here and write about things going on and stuff that interest me. Anyone out there want to pay? Ha ha, can you imagine, seriously how cool.

I have to take my car in to get fixed on Tuesday. I know Joe will be happy to see me, especially if he can find out what is wrong. Eric tells him he thinks I have a crush on him since I go there all the time. (hee hee, not true!) Eric said something about going to Mexico next weekend (which would be SUPER nice if the weather stays the same), we are going to call our cousins and see if they want to go too. (That means you, Vic and Rochelle)!

Well, I am sure there will be more later. There always is!

workers comp?

My friend had a meeting yesterday where there were two people who were translating in sign language for someone. There were two people there because if it is over two hours you need someone else to help because they may suffer from carpal tunnel.

Seriously, is it me? I mean, does that mean people who are deaf and can only sign, only do so for no more than two hours at a time. Maybe they are in a meeting or having a conversation and they stop and sign "My time limit is up, I need to rest now?"

this is Tate






Diego had a playdate with his friend Tate. Thanks Andrea for having us over. It was a lot of fun!

stuff coming up this month!

My friend Cheryl is having a very special birthday. Happy Birthday Cheryl! ( I won't mention your going to be 26!)

My friend Natalie's last day at work will be Friday the 13th (boo!). We will be having a work baby shower for her on the 17th. Her baby (which I am 100% sure it is a boy!) is due on Feb. 12th. I wish her a VERY quick and painless delivery (yeah right!)

My beautiful little 3 year old will be turning 4 this month! (I am so sad to see her get bigger!)

So many special things.

What a beautiful night

There was still light when I left work (something new) and the weather is great. It is a very comfortable 78 degrees with a very light breeze (thanks Tell me). There was snow on the mountains so I could enjoy my view on the drive home.

Of course I got home and found that Krystal had NOT defrosted the ground beef as I had asked her too. Wasn't one my resolutions to try and avoid ordering in or picking up (which is what I had to do). Hence, also blowing the trying to be better with money at the same time. Thanks Krystal!

Well, it is still beautiful outside and Texas is now leading in the USC game! Go Texas

Maybe you were wondering too

Q: Does putting a battery in the refrigerator lengthen its storage life? --Lanney A., Sandia Park, NM

A: Storage of batteries in a refrigerator "will not significantly prolong storage life," says Bob Milanese, Director of Technical Support of Duracell Batteries.

Heat can hurt the batteries but, unless the temperature constantly exceed 90 degrees for months at a time, cooling the batteries will have little effect.

pondering thoughts

I was thinking of this the other day. I do not, in any way, think someone should do it, it was just a thought.

I was driving by a Fed Ex truck, and I wondered how often they get robbed. I mean, they must have all kinds of great stuff in there. Think of everything you have ordered through Fed Ex and multiply that by LOTS. I mean, yeah we can all use money, but that is a lot of really cool stuff. Granted there will probably be some stuff you wouldn't want but you could always give it as gifts or e-bay it.

Hmmm, I wonder if they have cameras in those things? Hey, remember all the cool stuff that was found in the movie Cast Away? Forget banks with the cameras, security guards and emergency switches. That is all I am saying.

By the way, I will not be held responsible in any way if some dummy reads this and decides to go rob a Fed Ex truck!

Siobhan sleeping, what an angel!

amazing enough

After lots of drinks, going to bed at about 2:30am, I have no headache. WOO HOO! We all stayed up (minus Diego) until about 1:30am. I think Diego went to sleep about 11pm. He did try!

Diego is currently napping. Eric took K to the track to practice. B is outside watching Siobhan ride her bike. And I am, here, with you!

Some things I hope to change about myself this year.
I want to start and continue to exercise and eat better (diet is NOT a term I will use)
I will rejoin Weight Watchers soon
I will do better in regards to money (as in spending less and saving more)
I will try and keep my cool with my kids more (at least S. and D., K and B pretty much deserve whatever they get!)
I will try and keep my house cleaner and notice the things that I tend not to notice (drives my husband NUTS!)
I will try and actually cook at home (less ordering in and picking up, except for Chinese food, I LOVE Chinese food)
I will learn something new this year. I don't know what, but something.
I hope to move up at work this year.
I might even take a cooking class, I really would like to learn more things to make for dinner (after work, I am set for weekend dinners)
I would like to actually celebrate my anniversary with my husband this year. Maybe a little trip somewhere for the weekend, just the TWO of us.

So many things, I suppose I could go on and on. It is funny when you think about what you really want instead of what you need to change, how many things come to mind.

There are so many little things that might make us happy. A new book, a warm bath, a new game, chat with people who live in other countries, go to lunch or dinner with some friends. Remember your family is there for you no matter what. Try something different for dinner. Enjoy your children laughing. Do something different, be someone different, if only to see how it fits you. Change jobs, buy your spouse a surprise, take a class, it is amazing how different you can feel.

I hope 2005 was wonderful for you all. I think this is my longest post ever. I hope 2006 brings you life, love and happiness and that all your dreams and more come true.

Happy New Year

A new year. A whole year beginning without my dad. This sucks!

two thumbs up for Dishnetwork

Eric decided we should go ahead and move up one plan on Dish Network. I went online and added it. I clicked that I actually wanted it and it said please enjoy. I walked over to the TV and clicked on BBC (which we did not previously have) and it was there. Amazing. It added it in a matter of seconds. How cool is that? Now we can watch Monty Python's Flying Circus all night!

Seriously, I think anyone who ever read this blog, or even thought about reading this blog, did so and went to Albertson's the same time I did. The whole parking lot was full. What, does everyone wait until the last minute or what? I mean, I have an excuse, I was napping!

sssh

I took my (very short) nap, Bradley is watching TV but everyone else is asleep. Preparing to party all night long, or at least until midnight.

I still have to go to the store to get stuff to make chili (one of my very few specialties) and junk to snack on. How else can you drink, drink, drink if you don't have something in your tummy to absorb it all?

I wish you all a very Happy New Year. Please be safe tonight, especially if you leave your homes. ta!

funny or not?

Eric thinks this is funny. I do not. Here are a few guys playing a joke on their friend making him think he won the lottery (thanks to Tivo). While it is loading, read the info on the right hand side. Let me know what you think. Funny? Not funny?

click me, click me!

psst, it might take a couple minutes to load

some stuff I like

George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Burning Grilling Machine (what did I do without this before?)

iPod! I have had one for years (I am on number 2 now) but last night at my brothers he kept switching CD's and I thought, I NEVER have to do that. Buy one!

DVD player (any) I don't care what "they say", I say buy all the kid DVD's you can. "They" don't have to watch your children 24/7!

I got a razor from my friend called a Intuition. I love this thing. It has the soap on it so it doesn't wash off between the soaping and the shaving. Believe you me, it takes a lot to get me excited about a razor.

Naps (good one's, not those one's where you wake up feeling all sleepy)

Things I would like:

someone to come and cook and clean for us (besides my teenagers)
ideas for dinner (I gotta stop ordering in or picking up)
some form of exercise that I might actually look forward to (IS there such a thing?)
the gift to spell (so I don't have to rethink whole sentences because I can't even get close enough for spell check to know!)

dish

Well, we have our Dish Network in now. Of course, it is the first day and already Eric is bummed because he can't watch the UCLA game tonight (we didn't get that channel). The guy was nice and wasn't here very long. The picture looks great (did we get a new TV?), but I am sad for my hubby. He likes to watch little else. Sorry babe! (I wish we could have BBC America!)

other bloggers

I read about 20 blogs. Blogs that for the most part, I check daily. It is odd that when I comment on someone's blog, I feel like I know them. I don't mean slightly, but really know them. I mean it really isn't that much of a shock because these are people who write about themselves and what is going on in their lives. Isn't that what your friends do? Only verbally. There are endless blogs to look at. Aside from clicking next blog over and over (which I often do), it is best to check out the bloggers links from their own pages. Usually you will find someone else who writes about similar things. I hope this is making sense, it is 4:47am. Why am I up? Who knows! I think it was that damned canned chili from my brothers house though.

my excuse

I went to my brother's house today. He lives in Riverside. I never visit him. I have found my excuse. I left my house at 3:40pm, he lives 28 miles away (all freeway) and it took me a HOUR! WTF. I love him and all but jeez. How many people live out that way?

yummy

I came across this blog. I can't read it but who cares. Wanna see? CLICK HERE

much to do

We order Dish Network last night (online) and they are coming out tomorrow. We had cable for a year (thanks Mom for last years gift) but decided it was too expensive. Dish is about 20 bucks cheaper a month.

I am looking into getting a new tub. Probably a jacuzzi one. Does anyone out there have one? Any problems with it? We are going to have to move the toilet and take out one sink to make it fit nicely in there. (Not a real big bathroom) I have had one plumber come out and I have another one coming next week for the estimate.

We still need an electrician to come out because the water softener is not getting power. Jeez!

moving

We are having trouble with our water softener so I was on the phone to the "Culligan Man". They told me to open the box where the unit plugs in and there was a huge black widow. Now, I am not fond of any spider. I HATE them all. I can't even kill the little bastards. I told the guy on the phone (after I screamed in his ear) that we were going to have to move now. ICK!

Eric, te amo tanto. Usted ha dado me así que muchas cosas que incluso no sabía I necesitado. Espero que tenga el resto de mi vida para demostrarle mi amor.

almost done

My oldest brother is coming today to take K shopping (it is an annual thing) and we will exchange gifts. I am probably heading to one of my other brother's house on Wed. for a white elephant gift exchange where we will also exchange our gifts. Siobhan's Nino came by yesterday. We still have to see S's Nina, B's Godparents as well as K's.

Today B, S, D and I are hitting Costco. Armed with a gift card from my mom. We already have a years supply of Q-tips, which Eric loves to tease me about every time he remembers, but this time we are going for actual food.

I hope everyone out there is enjoying themselves. I feel numb mostly. I love my family, they are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am so lucky.

By the way, I got those Chef dvd's I really wanted. Thanks babe!

Nice surprise

Today was not as hard emotionally as I thought it would be. It might have been healing had I had a chance to deal with any pain that arrived but I did not. Now I fear that I won't be getting past that wall that seems to have appeared.

I did have a wonderful Christmas day. Thanks to all of my family. Of course Eric and the kids, Carol, my Mom, Lauren and Gabi. We all had a lot of nice gifts that were given with love (see Chuckie?). My brother David even called to wish us a Merry Christmas.

Diego is in bed already (it is not even 7pm). I am sure he isn't asleep but he always knows when he needs a little "time out". There never was a better kid about going to bed. (It always reminds me of the Back to the Future where the kid cries whenever he is taken out of his play pen only to grow up and always be in jail. God, I hope not!)

Merry Christmas everyone!

Remember Talking Tina from the Twilight Zone? Well, that doll is now in our home in the form of Amazing Amanda. This thing is freaky. It recognizes Siobhan's voice (for the most part) and tells her what to do. She knows when and what she is being fed as well as when she is laid down for bedtime. She knows the date and time. She knows Daylight Savings Time. She keeps asking Siobhan to say her name but I think it is because Siobhan keeps saying her name differently every time. She will say "Amanda, Amannnddaaaa, etc" but she is still working. She will just say " I will play with you until Mommy comes home". You can feed her, brush her hair, put her on the potty, give her juice or a cookie. They so did not have these toys when I was a kid.

I have never, in all my years, seen a kid as uninterested in opening gifts as I did today. Diego could have cared less if he was opening anything. In fact, I couldn't even seem to get him interested. He DID enjoy sitting on the gifts before they were opened. Wouldn't it be great if this continued through his teenage years?

Santa?

Will there ever be enough time? K and S are no making cookies for Santa and it is already 9pm. We just got home from Las Posadas at Olvera Street. It was nice. Now we are going nuts because K is not too knowledgeable in the way of making cookies. Who knows what Santa is going to be eating later. Sorry Santa.

Christmas Eve

Went and battled the store. I am making home made chicken pozole (pozole verde). So I had to go to two different stores and luckily it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. We needed MORE wrapping paper. I swear, we should start a tradition that all presents are unwrapped and just sitting there. Maybe you switch name tags to make it a surprise. I mean, really, how much do we spend on wrapping paper anyway. Same with birthday presents. Who started this anyway? Probably Hallmark.

Yesterday I was playing with Diego and I said "Do you love Mommy?", he said "no". BRAT

mandatory, and I like it

Eric told me the other day about something he read in the paper. Remember the day when every hard worker would receive a Christmas bonus? (Probably would be holiday bonus now!) Well in Mexico it is still going on and it is mandatory. Every employee gets one. The employers wouldn't even dream of not giving one. It usually equals one months salary and is always given before the 25th of December. Can you imagine? One months salary! I would be in heaven. All the bills you could pay off. WOW!

I say we implement that here. Oh yeah!

couple more days

Well, I was going to make cookies (I do every year) especially sugar cookies (the kind with the icing on top) but my heart just isn't in it. Those were my Dad's favorites. They were the reason I learned to make them. I judged how good they were by him. Somehow it just isn't the same. I just don't feel the same.

Siobhan is getting excited. My heart fills with joy when I think of her and Diego so excited to see that Santa has come. Siobhan wants to leave carrots for the reindeer because she heard it on TV somewhere, too cute.

I am off now until Jan 3rd. I really think I can use the break. I LOVE my job but I think I need a bit of family time. I am sure in a week I will be SO ready to go back to work. Today the two older one's have school, Eric has to work, Siobhan will go to pre-school so it will just be Diego and me. That will be nice. I am actually hoping to get the house clean (with Diego behind me dropping cereal no doubt!)

Hey, if you are what you eat, Diego is cereal, apple, and banana.

Sickness everywhere

Yesterday half of work was out due to illness. There were still quite a few there who were sick. Stay home I say. Keep all your germs at your house with you. I am home today because Eric's mom is ill (she watches Diego for us).

I have wrapped presents. Cleaned (a little bit!) and been overall sadder then I have been in weeks. Oh well. Eric ordered something for Bradley, which he opened yesterday to see it, only to find out they sent the wrong thing. We called and they don't have the one we did order. They are out of stock. THAT is nice. He will never know, he doesn't ever read this...

I really want to break down and cry for hours. I want to see my Dad again. I want to hold him, kiss him, hug him. I want, I want, I want. I know I am so selfish, I am lucky to have had so many wonderful years to know him as a man. But, damn it, I wanted so much more.

Diego is enjoying a banana in his high chair. The kids will be home soon. I told Siobhan I would pick her up early from pre-school so she could watch a Dora dvd. Bradley will be going shopping with his cousin tomorrow. Krystal probably Thursday. Eric and I still need to go out sometime. It looks like I will be staying home tomorrow too. My work is closed Friday so maybe I will make it in Thursday. Either way I will be off until the 3rd. Then I will need to start planning Natalie's baby shower and a birthday party for our little "going to be four years old". Busy, no matter what the season.

Please take a look

Okay, seriously, if you have a few minutes check out this site. It shows how they make photos look so much better for magazines and such. If you have a daughter it is a must see. Either way, it is amazing. Once you click the link, click the "retouch site" at the bottom left. Wow!

click me! click me!

Can you believe it?

Less than one week until Christmas. Only 5 more shopping days. I don't feel the Christmas spirit as much as usual, but I still feel the love. I almost wish for the day to be here but most of the fun is the building of anticipation. I am looking forward to seeing my family. Seeing the joy in the babies faces. Feeling the love that seems to consume me at this time of year.

Usually Eric and I will sit with a nice drink on Christmas Eve after the little one's have gone to bed. Sometimes we will light a fire (watch out Santa!) and talk about the past year. It really gives me something to look forward. I know this year there will be tears but I know I am so lucky to have had all the wonderful years that I did have with my dad.

What do you guys do to help celebrate the holidays? Anything you are hoping Santa will bring you?

Wow

Here is a letter I saved in my sent box that I e-mailed my Dad in March of 2003. I am so glad I often took the opportunity to tell him what I thought of him while I still could. You really know what is going to happen. Here it is.


I know I don't say it enough so I wanted to tell you
how much I really love you. You have always been
great! Always there for me yet allowing me to make my
own way. I think of you often although I don't always
take the time to let you know. Often a song or a
thought will remind me of you and I think I should
call or stop by and I let it pass. So I thought I
would go ahead and take this opportunity to let you
know that again I am thinking of you.
Often it is a song or two that makes me think of only
you. Singing with you, laughing over stupid words, but
mostly singing with you.
I know life gets in the way and somehow there isn't
always time to do everything I should and this is one
of those things. You have always been at the very top
of my list of most important people and there you
shall remain. (even if I let too much time go by
before I see you)
I just want to let you know my love for you shall
never fade. My opinions of you shall do nothing but get
better. You have never given me less then 100% of
yourself and all and everything you are. You are, I
believe, truly a gift from God. I know we don't see
eye to eye there but how could I have gotten so lucky
with such loving parents if that were not the case.
Luck of the draw maybe? I hit 21!
So longer then I intended though not nearly through
enough to express what it is that I am trying to say.
So I shall use three little too commonly used words,
but they say so much.
I love you! you are my thoughts, my kindness, my
loving, my life. Thank you for being who you were,
willing to show that you are not perfect and not
expecting me to be either.
Love you lots!

Di's work pals

Here are some of my friends at work. We are enjoying our annual Holiday party. This one is of Amber and myself. Down below is Natalie, me, and Julie.

We heard from Nan!

Yeah! We got two big boxes from Nan today. There were Christmas presents in there (we didn't open them yet!) It was so good to know she is thinking of us. We think of her all the time. I know you are probably reading this Nan.

I MISS YOU!

I hope maybe there are some photos of her so I can post them. I bet she has changed so much. I was telling Eric that Diego is a different kid since he was only a few weeks old when she left (he is 18 months now!). We have the kids room decorated with pictures that Nan drew. So beautiful!

Siobhan enjoying a grape and holding the flowers we bought at the Farmers Market

Santa Ana Farmers Market

You should go! It is held on wednesdays from 3pm to 7pm. On Third and Bush street (Bush is just east of Main St.). They have fresh flowers, lots of fresh fruits and veggies as well as music, nuts, honey, snacks and food, like bacon wrapped hot dogs, YUM!

ringworm..

.. is not something you need to go to the doctor too apparently. I took Diego today for what was clearly ringworm because my cousin said I needed to (thanks a lot Cindee, I know you just want my co-pay, hee hee). The doctor looked at it, said he wished he had a student so he could show him a classic case, told us to get Lotrimin over the counter. GREAT!

Oh well, at least I got off work early. Diego weighs 26 pounds (big scale with shoes and clothes, NOT standing still). The doctor said there is nothing to worry about just because Diego is eating us out of house and home and not gaining weight. He said he is probably just running it off. I think he eats more than Bradley (who is 15)!

So we enjoyed some time together alone. Eric came home early and we watched the news with just Bradley and Diego (K is at soccer) and then we picked Siobhan up from pre-school. I asked her what she did today and she said "something". Nice to know our money is being well spent!

How cute is that kid?!

Diego enjoying listening to Bradley's iPod. See Andrea, kids of all ages enjoy iPods! (hee hee)

almost done

with my shopping. K and B have to get something for their Godparents and I have to get my mom something (but I know what I am getting so that makes it easy). Something for Mark, the mailman (he is the BEST!). My niece and nephew (again I know what I am getting them, so easy), and Eric.

Eric is either really easy or really hard. I either know exactly what to get him or I am at a totally loss. This year I am at a total loss. I have an idea but am not sure it is the best thing. I would like to have the attitude of, I get it for him and if he doesn't like it, too bad, but I can't. When I get my husband a gift I want to make sure it is something he would LOVE. So each day I think of different things and wonder what would be better. He is easy on one hand because he is thankful for anything, but I really want him to be happy.

Eric, I am NOT asking for hints here, so quit thinking it (he is a faithful reader!). Anyway, I feel relived that I am almost done. Usually I haven't even really started. Oh, I still have to shop for Diego but how easy is that! Hope you all are enjoying the stress free days of being almost done as well.

Only 13 shopping days left! (My dad ALWAYS shopped on Christmas Eve. Who do you think was wrapping everything late that night?!)

hmm

Last night I found out that Diego's teeth (freakin' cute) are just like Eric's when he was little. According to Eric's cousins and aunt he used to bite too. Maybe that is where Diego gets it. Weird when you hear stuff like that.

Maybe I WILL enjoy this day

Running around earlier. I had to go by my cousin's house to pick up papers for tonight. I stopped by my Dad's house where Gabi was having a garage sale and grabbed a few things. Ran into Bradley's Nino there. I haven't seen him in, maybe a year. Then we went to Smart and Final where I spent WAY too much money and still came home with a list. Diego took a nap. Siobhan tried but failed. Eric and I are starting to put together a list of tunes for my iPod for the party. I opened a Smirnoff (green apple), Siobhan just got out of the bath. Diego is finishing up eating (he takes so long because he eats SO much). We still need showers. I have to pick up K's friend who is going with us and will help set up. I still have to stop by the store for ice and misc. items. But all and all, I am done. At this point people either enjoy themselves or they don't. I am done.

Had a crying episode earlier. Don't feel any better. I had to stop because I was making Siobhan cry. A real fake cry too. I couldn't help but laugh. I have so much to be thankful for, but I am still so sad.

Oh, I hear my Smirnoff calling me, gotta go!

up again

What I wouldn't do for one full nights sleep. If Diego doesn't wake up, it is Siobhan. If Siobhan doesn't wake up, it is something in my head that won't allow me to sleep (Dad). This is seriously driving me nuts. I don't mind if the kids wake now and again because it isn't usually them. It isn't as if I am having a dream of my dad or anything, I just find I can't sleep and assume that is what it is, maybe not, who knows!

The other night I went to bed at 8. Siobhan was laying in bed with me (still not her bedtime yet) and we were reading. I think I fell asleep about 8:30. I had a really good nights sleep. I was so tired. I am always tired lately, but it isn't a sleepy tired. I am emotionally tired. So tired.

I am scared. I am afraid of the prayer at the family party Saturday. I am afraid I won't be able to hold it together. I WILL NOT break down crying so what are my other options? I just try and hold everything back. Try not to feel anything. I am afraid of hugs lately. I am afraid to feel anything. If I let go, maybe I will begin crying and never be able to stop.

Every time I have let myself cry, I don't feel better afterwards. Usually I feel better after a cry but not in the last two and a half months. Oh no, Siobhan just came in here and I hear Diego now. Gotta go, please note the time.

another one

I had another dream last night that my dad called to tell me he didn't really die. I didn't understand in this dream why he lied but he kept saying he did. I told him there was no way Gabi could be faking and he said she knew. She called me and I hung up on her. I thought, I will call Mark, there was no way he would have faked his sorrow, but I never got to make the call. I hate having these dreams over and over. Although I wish to God one would come true!

trudging along

Closer and closer Christmas comes. Siobhan is getting really excited, asking about every little thing. I sometimes manage to make it home without crying, but not very often. I can't stop thinking about my Dad. Sometimes I am sad and I am not even thinking about it, but it must be back there somewhere.

The Torres Christmas party is in a few days. I will be so glad when it is over. K and I are in charge this year. It will not be all I had hoped but as long as we are all together, that is all that matters, right?

Next week at work we have our Secret Pal. I love doing that. Nothing like getting a gift everyday of the week. Plus we have quite a few new people at work, and it is a good way to get to know them. Our work is taking us out for dinner next Friday, pretty cool!

I know I say it all the time, but it is always in my mind. "I miss you Daddy"

not that my husband minds

but doesn't this qualify as prime time soft porn?

almost there

We picked up our Christmas tree tonight. It is outside soaking up some water. We have some/most of our shopping done. Not too bad with only a few weeks to go. Siobhan has her Christmas party this weekend, we have our Torres family party (which Krystal and I are in charge of this year) this Saturday. It will all be downhill from there.

Planning Festivus

We decorate our doors at work this week. We can't do Christmas, only holiday, so Natalie and I are going to do Festivus. "Festivus for the rest of us". What is really funny is how much information there is out there about it. Eric remembered just about everything I need but I thought I would google it just to see what happened. Man, oh man, people need more to do out there. So hopefully tomorrow I will go armed with my pole and some pretty darn sayings and see how it goes. If nothing else, it is something different.

okay, I lied

Right after I signed off, Bradley and my mom walk in. Krystal couldn't find her shorts so she didn't go. Now I am home with four kids and no husband!

Figures!

practically alone

A rare occurrence in this house. Bradley is out shopping with Grandma Sue. Eric and Krystal went on a bike ride. Diego is napping and Siobhan is watching a Dora dvd. I am alone (or as close as it gets), what shall I do, what shall I do? I know I am not going to waste anymore time writing here

well, lookie here

I have not been able to sleep well lately. I woke up with enough time to answer Andrea's question on iPods (as if it was written just for me!), answer a few e-mails, and go catch the episodes of Eastenders I missed on Friday. Woo hoo. Usually I will wake up too soon before it starts and fall asleep again, or wake up just as the last one is going to end. Off I go....

so busy

I am finishing up for the annual Torres Christmas party. A party for people who don't like to RSVP. I had a call from the taco guy tonight (I just heard the message) wanting to confirm. I have no idea how many people since I still haven't heard from about 20. auuggghhhh

I still have so much to do for that. My house still has nothing Christmas yet. I know Diego and Siobhan really want to see everything so I think it will be done this weekend.

Later is ballet and then the USC v. UCLA game. GO BRUINS!

So much to do and soooo little time. I am glad I am getting this party out of the way. Shouldn't be our turn for about another 15 years if ever the way the family keeps growing! Anyone want to help?

seriously scary

A three month old baby died because her parents gave her water, vodka, sugar and salt in her bottle because they thought it would help her colic! She had a blood alcohol level of 0.47 (Five times the legal limit for driving). She had severe damage to her liver due to weeks of alcohol consumption, so it was not a one-time thing.

I can not believe that these people could even THINK that this might be okay. There is enough information out there that I would hope even teenagers would know better. It makes me sick!