boo

A little background. My good friends and family will vouch for me here. I am not a scary cat, an easily frightened person, or scared easily. As a matter of fact, my husband often spends time trying to scare me around the house. I love when he actually does, which isn't often. If I hear a noise at night, I don't wake my husband, I get up and see what it is. The worst is not knowing, so I might as well just figure out what it is.

One may not have to do with the other. This month is September. The month my father passed away. Two years ago in a couple of weeks. The other night I felt the tears coming. I fought them off as I often do. I was in bed and ready to sleep, but if I turn off the lights and try to go to sleep, the thoughts will come. I fell asleep with the lights on.

The night before last my husband went to bed before me (not usual). I went to bed and laid down and I swear I thought I saw someone standing in the hallway. My heart was beating fast! I thought "Oh my God, there is someone there!". This is NOT normal for me.

Last night we went to bed at the same time. I was unable to go to sleep. Thoughts might come. I got up and watched a little tv. When I went back to bed I turned over and actually reached out because I thought something was standing right there. I was scared. I didn't want to go to sleep but knew there was nothing to really worry about, right?!

I thought a little bit and said "Dad, if that is you, you are freaking me out, stop it". Of course, I don't really think it is my dad. He would be wherever the tv is.

Is Eric keeping these things away since he is usually up when I go to bed? Is it because my body realized before my head that it is September? Could it be my dad? Could it be I am going crazy? Could it be I just need more sleep?

Whatever it is is freaking me out! I am not sleeping well. Ahh, we shall see..