seriously scary

A three month old baby died because her parents gave her water, vodka, sugar and salt in her bottle because they thought it would help her colic! She had a blood alcohol level of 0.47 (Five times the legal limit for driving). She had severe damage to her liver due to weeks of alcohol consumption, so it was not a one-time thing.

I can not believe that these people could even THINK that this might be okay. There is enough information out there that I would hope even teenagers would know better. It makes me sick!

Tuesday

I don't have much to say.

sad monday

I have a friend at work whose Dad has been in the hospital for almost two weeks now. He is doing much better and will probably be heading home tomorrow. It has been really hard on her. Today she was telling me all about it. Man, it just brought up so many thoughts and so much sadness.

I have cried a lot today. I usually cry in the car. I guess because I am alone on the way home from work. My mind starts thinking about who knows what... and somehow it comes back to my Dad. The tears flow. Sometimes I wish they would flow enough to actually take the pain away, but they ever do. Maybe, someday....

Siobhan's first trip to the movies

Last night Siobhan's big brother took her to the movies. It was her first time. They saw Chicken Little. It seems as though they had fun. It has been so long since I have been to the movies. Do you realize you don't actually pay a person anymore? They have these little machines kinda like ATM's you buy your tickets from. Wow. Modern technology huh? Of course two of them weren't working so we had to wait in line.

Krystal, Diego and I went to Target while we waited for them. I couldn't find any old school outside lights. You know the big one's that start hurting your electric bill as soon as you turn them one? Those are the one's I want. Maybe we will try today at the Home Depot, they always come through.

Going to my mom's for dinner and movie tonight. She misses us, really, who could blame her!

oh my

We tried to go to Fry's Electronics yesterday (Friday) around 12pm. We could not even get INTO the parking lot. The parking lot i is HUGE and we couldn't even get in. We tried later (about 5pm) and got a spot, walked in the store and the line to check out, oh goodness.

We have to buy new lights for the house. I don't think Siobhan will let us wait much longer before we get those up! What she really wants is those big light up things for the front yard. I saw a cute 8 foot one that was a globe and looked like snow was coming down. Looks really cute IN THE STORE. ha ha

wow

I HATE country music. I would NEVER listen to KZLA, but I am soooo thankful for the ads they have out. ThanksKZLA!

another dream

It wasn't last night, but the night before. I had another dream about my Dad. I went into Costco and he was standing there, looking so handsome. I started crying, couldn't believe he was there. I walked towards him. I stood there crying. Then I woke up.

I tell myself before I fall asleep, "if you have another dream, just hug him". That is all I want. Obviously I can only feel it in a dream, and frankly right now, it will do!

Thanksgiving passed with only a few crying episodes. I try so hard to keep the tears away. I still am not sure why. Christmas will be hell. I am so thankful for my wonderful husband, my beautiful kids and my very loving family and friends who help me everyday.

The hardest will be hearing Christmas songs by Elvis and Harry Belafonte. I will never be able to hear those without hearing my Dad sing along. I loved to hear my Dad sing. At least I am blessed with still hearing him that way.

I miss you Daddy, so much more than I would have ever thought possible. I am beginning to think I have never known pain before.

Here is some stuff going on around here:

Bradley had his backpack stolen on Friday. From his locker? no, he threw it down (supposedly with a bunch of other one's) during p.e. and someone stole it. Luckily he only had one school book in there (which the school will replace) but he had a set of clothes and his soccer stuff in there. So yesterday I bought him a new backpack (slim pickings around this time of the year, he is lucky they had other colors other than purple). He needs a physical for soccer by today. He still needs new soccer stuff.

Diego has a doctor appointment today. He still needs a haircut. (I tried to take him yesterday and they were closed).

Carol is sick so I am home with Diego today. Eric will stay home tomorrow if need be.

Still planning/getting things ready for the annual Torres Christmas party. I just KNOW I am going to forget something.

My friend at work father is very ill. I would like to say a special prayer for him that he gets well with no lingering problems. A girl needs her daddy.

K and B are both in high school soccer. So we will be sending out e-mails with the dates, times and places of the games. Most, if not all, are during the day, so no problem for those of you who can't make it.

Diego is down for a nap, woo hoo!

ta ta for now!

I had a dream last night...

...that my dad wasn't actually dead. He was making a statement against something so he wanted everyone to think he was dead. When he walked out, I was afraid to go to him. Afraid to find it wasn't really him. I cried and cried and I started hitting him. So mad that he would do that to me. I woke up before I was able to hug him (which is really all I want).

Isn't that weird. In my dream Gabi knew he was alive. Obviously that isn't true because I have seen the pain she has and is still suffering with. I am pretty sure that is the first dream I have had about my dad. Wish I could have gotten that hug in first.

oh my

yesterday as I was channel surfing in the car, I turned to KOST. They are playing Christmas music already. Shouldn't they at least wait until the 25th? Wow! ( I will admit I have turned to it a couple of times since then).

Torres Christmas blog

If you are a Torres and got here by mistake somehow, check out the right blog HERE!

never enough time in the day

I was off today because of Diego being sick. Man, I had plans. I was going to get the invites for the Torres Christmas party out in the mail (I did that). I was going to take my car and get an estimate on getting the back fixed. I was going to do a lot of laundry. I was even thinking about cleaning the house and then playing some Sims 2. No luck on any of those other things. Man, oh man. Why even think you might accomplish something. Diego has been whining all day. He doesn't want anything but he wants everything. I told cousin Cindee he wanted to go stay at Nino's house (her son!) hee hee

Here is to a full nights sleep.

poor baby, this was ONE time he wasn't crying!

Our clothes dryer has not been working the past few days. Thursday Eric came home early to figure out what was going on. He has Bradley pull out the dryer. When he got home he noticed that the gas line was broken. Okay, so as he is freaking out he tells Krystal to turn the gas off. She turns it, and hears, pssss. So she turns it back off.

The gas line was broken AND the gas was off. None of us turned it off. Nobody! The things that could have happened. But the gas was off. We can't explain it. No one did it. It isn't somewhere it could have been done by accident. I don't normally believe in this kind of thing, but I can't help thinking my Dad was looking out for us. Whatever it was, I can't help but say, Thanks Dad!

relaxing weekend?

Isn't that what it was supposed to be? Friday night was okay. Eric, Diego and I dropped Bradley off at The Catch where he was helping out for the soccer fund raiser. Then we went to some game store for Eric to get a new PSP game. Then Krystal and I went and picked up dinner. Saturday we tried to go get free t-shirts at the new Apple store at the Brea Mall. They were giving them out to the first thousand people. We got there about 9:30 (they opened at 10) and they already had more than enough people in line, so we left. We went to the doctor and than home for a while. We watched the UCLA game and went for a walk. Krystal made some wonderful shrimp cocktail for dinner along with homemade chocolate flan! Today we were supposed to have a play date with Tate, but he wasn't feeling well. Probably was the best thing for Diego too. He is fighting those darn breathing treatments. We watched the Galaxy game. They won! Champs!

Tomorrow we are taking Diego to the doctor about his walking. I am going to go ahead and stay home with him since he doesn't sit still for those treatments. I need a wine cooler.

breathing treatment 2

much better, after I let him know he was having it no matter what! After a few minutes he was mostly calm during everything. So, hopefully the next one will go well. We'll see...

asthma?

I took Diego to the doctor today (he weighs 23.2 pounds now). She thinks he has asthma. She gave us the medicine for the machine and Prednisone. She is afraid he might get worse so we are to do the meds every four hours. Let me tell you, he did not want to have the mask on. He was screaming the whole time. He was a little better after the treatment so we were able to go home. They want him back in a few days and we are supposed to keep a close eye on him.

I actually thought we were done with the whole asthma thing. I have it, Krystal has it, Bradley has it. I thought Siobhan and Diego were going to be okay. Very frustrating!

golly gosh

Looking forward to a fun and relaxing weekend. A weekend of NO soccer, well except for the Galaxy! (Go Galaxy!)

Tomorrow Siobhan has ballet and I am sure Eric will watch the UCLA game. Sunday we will be heading to Chuck E. Cheese so Diego and Tate can play (or pull each other's hair).

I might even stay up past 11pm! Crazy!

Day one...no bottle

That's right. Diego has been without a bottle all day. He is almost ready for bed. Woo hoo and he had no problem. That is not to say he didn't ask for it. The pacifier in bed is something we will work on for another day!

I am free, free, free

Today Bradley played his last game of club soccer for this season. No more driving to Orange everyday Tuesday and Thursday (I drop off, Eric picks up). No more driving to Pasadena every weekend (okay not EVERY weekend, feels like it though) for a game. Ahh, the enjoyment of being able to go home and stay there. Bradley will be playing high school soccer, but guess what, the school is RIGHT there!

Krystal still has dance on Tuesday nights but we can go out to eat or something relaxing while she is there. We usually go to The Gypsy Den.

So, if you want us on the week night we should be here. Unless of course you want something, and than we are extremely busy so don't bother us!

Dora Live

Here are a couple pictures from the Dora Live show that Siobhan and I went to yesterday. We had great seats, the 5th row!

Everyone knows I hate Wal-Mart. Here is something even I did not know.

Wal-Mart controls 25% of the U.S. toothpaste market. It is suggested that even if you HAVE to shop at Wal-Mart, buy your toothpaste elsewhere. Wal-Mart tracks this stuff religiously, and they just might take notice.


Can't hurt. Want to know more? Click here!

funny AND true

YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM SO CAL IF...

1. Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
2. You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.
3. You don't know anyone's phone number unless you check your cell phone.
4. You speak Spanish, but you're not Mexican.
5. You begin to "lie" to your friends about how close you are when you know damn well that it'll take you at least an hour to get there (see below).
6. You drive to your neighborhood block party.
7. In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.
8. You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.
9. If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.
10. Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.
11. You know what In-n-Out is, and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.
12. You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.
13. You really can never be too rich or too thin or too tan.
14. You've partied in Tijuana at least 3 times... You don't remember at least 1 of them.
15. You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
16. You eat pineapple or broccoli on pizza.
17. Your cell phone has left a permanent impression on the side of your head.
18. You think that Venice is a beach.
19. The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.
20. You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.
21. You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "714." Nobody likes anyone from the "909" because it stinks there.
22. You call 911 and they put you on hold.
23. You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.
24. The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.
25. You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It doesn't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing you are just better than them, for whatever reason.
26. You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.
27. You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean.
28. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
29. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH 2005 "
30. The Terminator is your governor.
31. You don't notice the 5.0 Quake while all the tourists are screaming and running for cover.
32. You own an Off Road Vehicle or SUV and never take it anywhere except the freeways.
33. If you leave your cell phone at home, you don't remember how to drive because you now have an extra hand on the steering wheel.
34. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from California.

Daddy, where are you?

I think the denial is starting to wear off. So many weeks now that I have been able to talk about my Dad with no problem. Almost as if I was talking about someone else. Lately though, the thoughts of him bring tears. There is a general sadness inside of me that won't seem to go away. Last night I was watching TV, flipping the channels, and all of a sudden the tears come. No longer am I trying to hold them back. Before I was afraid if I let them come they would never stop. Now I am afraid if I don't let them come I will never be able to cry again.

So many emotions. So many memories. I always smile when I think of my Dad. He wasn't perfect but he was the perfect Daddy for me. He was everything I needed. He let me be who I wanted to be but was there to pick me up or guide me when I asked for it. I told him of this often, that I was so glad both of my parents let me be who I thought I should be. But they were (and Mom still is) THERE. Maybe when your children get older that is what parenting is about. Being there. You do what you can to shape them, teach them right from wrong, and then they grow. Being there. There to help, talk, bail out, whatever.

I don't know. All I do know is I planned to have MANY, MANY more years with my Dad and now I don't. It doesn't matter how many good memories you have, you still want more. My whole body aches for one more hug.

fun, fun, fun

Bradley has his last local soccer game today. They switched the time to this morning, which Eric was happy about. Now he can be home to see the UCLA game. I am taking Siobhan to ballet and then we are going to see Dora Live! She was so excited this morning when Eric told her. Her eyes got all big! What fun! Hopefully there will be some pictures to post later.

Everyone, stay home!

Krystal and I just got back from a "driving lesson". Her first time behind the wheel. She drove around the parking lot to get a feel for the car (not to mention the brake and gas). She didn't realize you had to turn so much. She drove down the street home so her Dad could get her on video. I even let her park in the driveway. The whole 5 feet up the driveway I yelled "brake! brake! We made it and the car is no worse for the wear (me on the other hand....)

All in all she did well for 15 minutes of driving. We will have lots more practice, LOTS!

Sometimes it's too late to make a change.