I was thinking the other day why it is so hard to accept my dad's death. I wonder if it was partly due to the events leading to it. My aunt (who lives across the street from my dad) called and said there was an ambulance there and she wanted to let me know. I called and spoke to Gabi (my dad's wife) who was very upset. After a few moments, I realized she was telling me that there was nothing they could do. I said "He's dead" and threw the phone at Eric.

Eric talked to her a while and figured out that they were taking my dad to the hospital. We were waiting for Krystal to finish dance, we went home, I tried calling Gabi but she was still waiting at the hospital, she didn't know anything. I left everyone at home because I honestly thought it would be another false alarm. I called my friend Natalie on the way to the hospital and I said "He can't die today, nobody dies on a Tuesday right?". When I went in the doctor had just finished telling Gabi. I held myself together, asked some questions, asked if we could see him, etc.

Maybe if it had all happened the first time, I might have cried my flipping eyes out and be on my way to dealing with things. I don't know. I still cry just about everyday. I miss him so much. I think every-time I put on my walking shoes, I think, "this is for all the other daughters out there".

I can't even begin to thank everyone who has been so kind to donate money for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I really can't, but everyone has helped my deal with the pain of no longer having my dad with me. Please check out my site and see how amazing other people are!

https://www.active.com/donations/fundraise_public.cfm?key=DJasso

Thanks again!