a sad joy

I realized today that Diego is growing up. I know, he is only 18 months old, but he is getting bigger. He is understanding so much better what he can and can not do. You can leave him alone for 10-15 minutes without worrying that his head is the toilet or he is eating something out of the trash. That is not to say we don't keep an eye on him, but you can take a shower, or put laundry in without worry. While we were out at dinner tonight we ordered him a kids meal, he almost finished it all. This kid can eat but is obviously also growing up. Our baby. The last one. Number four. There will be no more. So it is bittersweet.

I will enjoy the small bits and pieces that come when I am able to sit and read four pages of a book on the couch. I will not repeatedly ask "Diego, what are you doing?" every few minutes. I will let him be in his room without the worry that he has found the one non-age appropriate toy to play with or that he may be eating pages out of a book (well, that is still a concern!)

But at the same time, there are less and less long moments that he will sit still so I can hold him. No more will I feel like the most important person in his whole life. No more Diego "being a baby", as he is slowly growing into a little boy. Sad. Happy. Sad. Sorry honey, not sad enough to have another one though. Are you nuts!