Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Alone again, naturally

Today Diego and I are home alone. No Siobhan and no Eric. Could the house seem more quiet? There is so much to do. I only have 2 more days off before I return to work, yet all I want to do is be sad. Sad that Siobhan is not here. Sad that I am returning to work (although time and time again Eric asks if I want to be a stay at home mom, and the answer is no). I know I need to go to work (for me) but I don't want to actually go. Makes no sense!

Siobhan did better today. A lot less crying. She has not forgotten about the Princess backpack either. I guess we will be getting that while Bradley is at soccer practice.

How come it is so hard to decide what you want out of life? Do I want to work? Do I want to stay home? How would I be a better wife and mother? I am NOT a good housewife as it is. I hardly do anything while I am home all day. How will it be once I go back to work? Poor Eric, I don't know if he knew what he was in for when we bought this house but thankfully he loves me anyway! I always remember to do laundry and do the dishes, but beyond that.......

Maybe I can blame my mood on the weather. It is gloomy today, not a typical Southern California kind of day. Yes, that is it. I am happy about Siobhan not being here and I am happy that I am going to back to work in a few days. (I don't believe it either!)

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