you know what bugs?

When I am driving or at work and I think, "I will blog that later", and I forget what the hell it was. That drives me nuts! Of course it was something wonderful, mindblowing even. Aaagggghhhh

I can't believe it

tomorrow Siobhan will be 4. WOW! Four years ago we had our beautiful little girl. I remember how we all waited for her. So many of our family and friends were there. We didn't have to buy diapers for six months. I love that little girl and I am in no hurry for her to grow up (even if she is)!

time out

I used time out for the first time on Diego today. He keeps screaming when he doesn't get his way, and frankly I have had enough. So I just put him on the floor in the living room. I only had to re-sit him down once. Okay, yeah, he watched tv a little bit, but he seemed to get it. I am sure there will be lots of time outs from now on!

So true

Siobhan's says

Siobhan saw this sign and asked if we were going to Arrow Point. Dang, is she cute!

wow! Check this out!

Siobhan's first progress report
Is she too cool or what?

In my attempt

to save money, I am finding that we need less meat than I thought. I used to use twice as much meat as I have been. I am glad to say we might get a little healthier too. There are five of us that eat dinner so it isn't as though we were having TOO much. Now I look at the meat and I wonder, "Is this going to be enough?" but it usually is. Strange. My wonderful husband has been going to the store too. That helps because he buys different things than I do. I am going to go now and look through K's Rachael Ray's cookbook and plan some meals. I am so tired of eating the same thing over and over. Plus my friend Julie brought her cookbooks to work, I only need to take the time to look through them. (I AM supposed to be working after all.)

auto defrost

I am so anti defrosting anything in the microwave. I always put it in water to defrost. Well today MOST of the ground beef was thawed. I had a little section that was still rock hard. I put it in the microwave, hit auto-defrost, and WOW, it was done. It didn't look weird or change colors either. I will be using that baby again, I can tell you!

hold on to your hats, literally

check this out: for Anaheim, CA. Tonight: Clear and windy. Low 43F. Winds NE at 15 to 25 mph. Winds 40-60 mph in and below canyons and passes.

The wind is crazy!

cried many times today

and I am so tired of it. Sometimes I have to fight just to control myself. I am so upset about so many things. I can't believe Siobhan will be turning 4. I know 4 is still little, but damn they grow up so fast. I still haven't been to one of Bradley's high school soccer games and Krystal will be starting track soon. We all need to go the eye doctor. I need to go to the dentist. I need to go for a check up at the doctor.

Anyway, I am sad about my dad. I need to make all those appointments and still try not to miss work since we are going crazy at my particular job. I can make some after hours. I am going to make a check list tomorrow and get started on it. So many little things, those are the worst. I thank God for my healthy family who I cherish and make me feel loved everyday. My husband is the best. He is trying so hard to make me feel happy. I only wish there were something he could do. Of course knowing he is just trying means everything. I never thought about how I it would really be when my dad died. I didn't realize it would be effecting me for so long. I just didn't know...

I can't sleep. I am so tired but the sleep doesn't want to come tonight. Boy, will I regret it in the morning. Too bad no one is on iChat right now.

This week Siobhan has a make up ballet class on Wed., Sat I have something to do and so does Eric with Krystal. My brother wants to take Bradley golfing and I have to ask my mom to take Siobhan to ballet (maybe she will watch Diego too). Sunday is Natalie's baby shower. The baby is due 2-12, not too long now. Hopefully a quick and easy labor.

So could I go on anymore? Geez, go to bed already!

Being alone isn't all it is cracked up to be. Everyone else has been asleep since about 9:30. I watched a couple of episodes of Six Feet Under, thanks to Netflix, and now...nothing. It is too quiet. Be careful what you wish for they always say. Well they are right. Eric was up for about 3 minutes, checking his e-mail. I am waiting for a Harry Potter movie to be on, something to watch anyway. I might read. I am currently reading I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou. Krystal checked it out from the library, I didn't have anything to read, so here I am. Good book, obviously!

I think I feel the sadness creeping again. Could just be that I am alone and so not used to that. I just want to cry, or eat chocolate (which we don't have thank goodness!) Sometimes I wonder why it has to trickle in, the sadness I mean. Why not come full force and get it over with? Maybe it is something else. Who knows. I think for the most part I am usually a very happy or at least satisfied person. Every now and then I feel like the worst person on the planet. I let my husband down over and over. I never stay as calm as I would like to with my kids (K and B usually deserve it though). I don't even always do what I think is right. But at least I know I am a good person. I think of other people's feeling, but not to the point where I don't think about myself. I am a complete bitch most of the time (my family would agree, hey, I like to say what is on my mind) but my capacity to love, man, it is extreme.

Oh, do I hear someone moving around? Maybe Eric is done napping and wants to watch Harry Potter with me (highly unlikely), we so don't agree on movies there! ta everyone!

hey hey hey

I feel like I haven't really written much lately. I think it is because I am keeping a secret. You will all know in about a week or so. So, I am always afraid it will come out. Like my other personality will let them slip out. Too bad it isn't a more organized and clean personality. ha ha

So much still going on. I still need to go see my little cousin, Hunter, who will probably be 12 by the time I get over there. Tomorrow is ballet and Siobhan and I have a birthday party for one of her friends from preschool. Next weekend I have something to do that is part of my surprise and I have Natalie's family baby shower to go to. At least this time Krystal and Siobhan can go so I don't have to hear K complain about not being able to go.

Getting excited about the new job at work although I have sooooo much to do before. Of course, I will be doing both jobs for a while. I am okay with that, I am going to miss my current job. I love it and am pretty darn good at it too!

You know how everything is becoming paperless? Which I love by the way. Too bad you can't go paperless at the markets. I am so tired of all the store ads that come in the mail. I rarely look at them. Why not save money and a tree and e-mail me everything. I will just delete it anyway. When they finally come up with this idea, make sure I get the credit!

Woo Hoo

On Jan. 1st, I posted some things I wanted to change about myself this year. One of them was to get a promotion at work, well I can check that one off! WOO HOO. Not only am I totally excited about the job, I am happy to mark one off my list. I think if I thought of it as a running list I might work harder to actually do the things I set out to do.

I think this year it going to bring big changes all around for me. Real big ones. That was number one to actually accomplish. Wait until I tell you about the next one. I promise you won't believe it!

(Thanks babe for the dinner, it was YUMMY!)

new office mate

I have a new office mate as of yesterday. I have known her for years, so I know we will get along just fine. I was talking to her about my dad today. It was so sweet that she had tears in her eyes while I was telling her my story. WOW. I was telling her how I feel like I haven't dealt with my feelings about him being gone yet. It is so weird to actually tell someone that I know my dad is dead but well, I am not sure I REALLY believe it yet.

My office isn't the same without Natalie. Weird. Her desk is all bare. I think she left one post it on her board. We made her chair all short so it will fit under the desk though. (I have to walk between the two desks to get out, oh the view I have of the park SO makes up for it!)

Eric and I are getting ready to go for a walk. I think it might be Siobhan's bed time by the time we go but she can wait until we get back. I love putting her to bed.

Natalie's shower

It was held last night at the El Torito by work. We had about 30 people show up. She got so many gifts. About half way through my friend kept getting drinks without ordering them. I was like, what is going on? Her husband was over at the bar and was sending drinks over for a bunch of us. How sweet is that? He joined us later and KEPT buying drinks, too bad I was driving (they ended up taking a cab home!)

Nat got a bunch of gifts, so many clothes. WOW. It reminds me of the gift of life and glad I am not giving it anymore! hee hee. It helps when you see someone almost 9 months prego. THAT so does not need to be again. (sorry babe)

This week has gone by so quickly. How is it Wed evening already? Practically time to do laundry again.

I've been tagged

Fun with fours, thanks Mary. Well, here goes!

Four jobs you've had:
worked at the movies (loved it!)
worked at the bookstore during college
at a group home
currently, at a non-profit agency that pays for child care for low income families

Four movies you could watch over and over:
easy Sleepless in Seattle
any Harry Potter movie (which I didn't think I would like at all)
Spinal Tap
Of Mice and Men

Four places you've lived:
Jackson, Tennessee
Garden Grove, California
Orange, California
Anaheim, California

Four tv shows you love to watch:
Eastenders
Desperate Housewives
My Name is Earl
MXC

Four of your favorite books:
I could NEVER limit it to four
Anything by Dean Koontz
anything else I can get my hands on

four places you have been on vacation:
Spain
France
Switzerland
Mexico

Four websites you visit daily:
Rebekah's page
boingboing
blog visits
woot

Four of your favorite foods:
strawberries
pizza
orange chicken (Chinese)
popcorn

Four places you would rather be right now:
Mexico
Spain
somewhere alone with my husband
off to somewhere I have never been

Four bloggers you are tagging:
Andrea
Krystal
Bradley
Mackeydoodle

Movie quote

What movie is this quote from?
"I love my dead gay son?"

My Dad

God bless him!

a sign of things to come

So, I heard Diego was a BRAT yesterday. I saw a little bit of it but by the time I got home, he was pretty much himself. I think maybe he enjoyed being home with just Daddy the day before and was mad. Who knows! Let's just hope it was short lived, whatever it was!

It is now about 2:30AM! Am I nuts? Can't sleep. I wonder, seriously, what it would be to get a wonderful, FULL, nights sleep. Just one! No Siobhan waking up in the middle of the night because her panties are wet (of course, she never mentions that her whole bed is too), or just waking up like now. For who knows what reason. I had to check Woot and see if it was something I liked (which it was but nothing I could afford). I usually check every night at 10pm when they put up the new item but I was in bed reading and forgot too. The writing on that site is SO funny. Those guys crack me up! And who else would throw in a blender with a big screen TV? No one, that's who.

My car has been "clicking" for months and we finally got it fixed. The only reason it took so long was because my Eurovan is like a kid. Clicking all over the place until I take it to get fixed, then suddenly, the noise is gone. (Like when your kid has a fever for three days until you get to the doctors office and they look at you like you are crazy because it is 97.6). The left axle was jacked. We are all well now, thank goodness. We can't exactly fit two adults and four kids in Eric's Passat.

I think I might try and go back to sleep now. Sleep tight people!

Breaking loose

Tomorrow I am going out after work, Happy Hour, for my friends 50th birthday party. Woo Hoo. No kids, no nada. Just friends and drinks. Can't wait!

check this out. Something to think about

This is from Yahoo News! I cut the story down so it wasn't so long. I am going to get rid of the cough meds I have.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Over-the-counter cough medicines do little good and may harm children, U.S. experts said in new guidelines released on Monday.

"Cough is the number one reason why patients seek medical attention," Dr. Richard Irwin of the University of Massachusetts Medical School, who chaired the guidelines panel, said in a statement.
"There is no clinical evidence that over-the-counter cough expectorants or suppressants actually relieve cough," Irwin added.

Dr. Peter Dicpinigaitis, a panel member who runs a cough clinic at the Montefiore Medical Center in New York, said cough medications might help some patients. But they carry the risk of oversedation -- especially dangerous to children, he said in a telephone interview.

Under new guidelines, adults with acute cough or upper airway cough syndrome, commonly known as postnasal drip, should use an older variety of antihistamine with a decongestant.
And while coughs in children are worrisome and annoying, cough syrup is not the answer, Irwin said.

"Cough is very common in children. However, cough and cold medicines are not useful in children and can actually be harmful," he said. "In most cases, a cough that is unrelated to chronic lung conditions, environmental influences, or other specific factors, will resolve on its own."

The guidelines follow several studies that have suggested that nonprescription cough remedies do little more than offer comfort to desperate patients.

Researchers reported in July of 2004 that neither dextromethorphan, often listed on labels as DM, or diphenhydramine, an antihistamine, offered any more relief to children suffering from cough than sugar water.

The study, published in the journal Pediatrics, showed that children usually recovered quickly whatever the treatment.

Everyone in the house is asleep and I am watching TV. I don't even remember what. All of a sudden, I am crying. I can't believe Siobhan is going to be 4. I mean, at three, she is still really little. She is only 3. We say that all the time. When she is 4 she just almost school age.

oh, I know they have to get older. I see the older one's everyday. There is still Diego but it really doesn't make it any easier. I am going to be a wreck when she starts school, I just know it!

my wonderful husband

I mentioned how we bought some frames yesterday. Well last night he brought two in our bedroom and said when you are ready I will put these up. There was two BEAUTIFUL pictures of my Dad. One was from a very long time ago and one from our wedding. I know the old one was a lot of work. They are both so great. Of course I cried, but I am looking very forward to having them up where I can see his handsome face everyday.

I will ask him to e-mail them to me so I can post them here.

whatcha doin?

Well, lots of goings on over here. Yesterday some friends of mine (and me!) gave blood at work. They had a blood mobile come. Even with an appointment it took over an hour. Yikes! It is a wonder they find people to do actually wait that long. Lucky for them I was on work time. One of my friends, Elisha, was so scared. She was cracking us up. I told her I want to be there when she has a baby.

Today we took Siobhan to ballet, grabbed a quick bite to eat, and off to Aaron Brothers for the one cent frame sale. We got home just as the electrician, Sam, was arriving. He was great and fixed our outlet so our water softener works again. Eric was going to put up a new light in our room and seems we are missing some hardware. So he and Krystal have run off to Home Depot where they might also pick up a nice new cabinet for over the washer and dryer.

Diego has been sleeping the afternoon away. We sent Bradley to find Eric's mom at Albertson's and help her with her groceries. I, as usual, am here.

What would be more cool than getting paid to sit here and write about things going on and stuff that interest me. Anyone out there want to pay? Ha ha, can you imagine, seriously how cool.

I have to take my car in to get fixed on Tuesday. I know Joe will be happy to see me, especially if he can find out what is wrong. Eric tells him he thinks I have a crush on him since I go there all the time. (hee hee, not true!) Eric said something about going to Mexico next weekend (which would be SUPER nice if the weather stays the same), we are going to call our cousins and see if they want to go too. (That means you, Vic and Rochelle)!

Well, I am sure there will be more later. There always is!

workers comp?

My friend had a meeting yesterday where there were two people who were translating in sign language for someone. There were two people there because if it is over two hours you need someone else to help because they may suffer from carpal tunnel.

Seriously, is it me? I mean, does that mean people who are deaf and can only sign, only do so for no more than two hours at a time. Maybe they are in a meeting or having a conversation and they stop and sign "My time limit is up, I need to rest now?"

this is Tate






Diego had a playdate with his friend Tate. Thanks Andrea for having us over. It was a lot of fun!

stuff coming up this month!

My friend Cheryl is having a very special birthday. Happy Birthday Cheryl! ( I won't mention your going to be 26!)

My friend Natalie's last day at work will be Friday the 13th (boo!). We will be having a work baby shower for her on the 17th. Her baby (which I am 100% sure it is a boy!) is due on Feb. 12th. I wish her a VERY quick and painless delivery (yeah right!)

My beautiful little 3 year old will be turning 4 this month! (I am so sad to see her get bigger!)

So many special things.

What a beautiful night

There was still light when I left work (something new) and the weather is great. It is a very comfortable 78 degrees with a very light breeze (thanks Tell me). There was snow on the mountains so I could enjoy my view on the drive home.

Of course I got home and found that Krystal had NOT defrosted the ground beef as I had asked her too. Wasn't one my resolutions to try and avoid ordering in or picking up (which is what I had to do). Hence, also blowing the trying to be better with money at the same time. Thanks Krystal!

Well, it is still beautiful outside and Texas is now leading in the USC game! Go Texas

Maybe you were wondering too

Q: Does putting a battery in the refrigerator lengthen its storage life? --Lanney A., Sandia Park, NM

A: Storage of batteries in a refrigerator "will not significantly prolong storage life," says Bob Milanese, Director of Technical Support of Duracell Batteries.

Heat can hurt the batteries but, unless the temperature constantly exceed 90 degrees for months at a time, cooling the batteries will have little effect.

pondering thoughts

I was thinking of this the other day. I do not, in any way, think someone should do it, it was just a thought.

I was driving by a Fed Ex truck, and I wondered how often they get robbed. I mean, they must have all kinds of great stuff in there. Think of everything you have ordered through Fed Ex and multiply that by LOTS. I mean, yeah we can all use money, but that is a lot of really cool stuff. Granted there will probably be some stuff you wouldn't want but you could always give it as gifts or e-bay it.

Hmmm, I wonder if they have cameras in those things? Hey, remember all the cool stuff that was found in the movie Cast Away? Forget banks with the cameras, security guards and emergency switches. That is all I am saying.

By the way, I will not be held responsible in any way if some dummy reads this and decides to go rob a Fed Ex truck!

Siobhan sleeping, what an angel!

amazing enough

After lots of drinks, going to bed at about 2:30am, I have no headache. WOO HOO! We all stayed up (minus Diego) until about 1:30am. I think Diego went to sleep about 11pm. He did try!

Diego is currently napping. Eric took K to the track to practice. B is outside watching Siobhan ride her bike. And I am, here, with you!

Some things I hope to change about myself this year.
I want to start and continue to exercise and eat better (diet is NOT a term I will use)
I will rejoin Weight Watchers soon
I will do better in regards to money (as in spending less and saving more)
I will try and keep my cool with my kids more (at least S. and D., K and B pretty much deserve whatever they get!)
I will try and keep my house cleaner and notice the things that I tend not to notice (drives my husband NUTS!)
I will try and actually cook at home (less ordering in and picking up, except for Chinese food, I LOVE Chinese food)
I will learn something new this year. I don't know what, but something.
I hope to move up at work this year.
I might even take a cooking class, I really would like to learn more things to make for dinner (after work, I am set for weekend dinners)
I would like to actually celebrate my anniversary with my husband this year. Maybe a little trip somewhere for the weekend, just the TWO of us.

So many things, I suppose I could go on and on. It is funny when you think about what you really want instead of what you need to change, how many things come to mind.

There are so many little things that might make us happy. A new book, a warm bath, a new game, chat with people who live in other countries, go to lunch or dinner with some friends. Remember your family is there for you no matter what. Try something different for dinner. Enjoy your children laughing. Do something different, be someone different, if only to see how it fits you. Change jobs, buy your spouse a surprise, take a class, it is amazing how different you can feel.

I hope 2005 was wonderful for you all. I think this is my longest post ever. I hope 2006 brings you life, love and happiness and that all your dreams and more come true.

Happy New Year

A new year. A whole year beginning without my dad. This sucks!