Being alone isn't all it is cracked up to be. Everyone else has been asleep since about 9:30. I watched a couple of episodes of Six Feet Under, thanks to Netflix, and now...nothing. It is too quiet. Be careful what you wish for they always say. Well they are right. Eric was up for about 3 minutes, checking his e-mail. I am waiting for a Harry Potter movie to be on, something to watch anyway. I might read. I am currently reading I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou. Krystal checked it out from the library, I didn't have anything to read, so here I am. Good book, obviously!

I think I feel the sadness creeping again. Could just be that I am alone and so not used to that. I just want to cry, or eat chocolate (which we don't have thank goodness!) Sometimes I wonder why it has to trickle in, the sadness I mean. Why not come full force and get it over with? Maybe it is something else. Who knows. I think for the most part I am usually a very happy or at least satisfied person. Every now and then I feel like the worst person on the planet. I let my husband down over and over. I never stay as calm as I would like to with my kids (K and B usually deserve it though). I don't even always do what I think is right. But at least I know I am a good person. I think of other people's feeling, but not to the point where I don't think about myself. I am a complete bitch most of the time (my family would agree, hey, I like to say what is on my mind) but my capacity to love, man, it is extreme.

Oh, do I hear someone moving around? Maybe Eric is done napping and wants to watch Harry Potter with me (highly unlikely), we so don't agree on movies there! ta everyone!