Nanless

Well, it has been almost 2 months since Nan left. Eric and I finally stopped wondering if she was going to come walking down the hall. We've stopped wondering if she is in her room drawing. We are still missing her like crazy. Yesterday Siobhan asked "Where is Krystal?", I said she is at Nana's house. Siobhan asked "Where is Nan?" I said "Remember she went home to Thailand to be with her family", she said "She is sad there?". I wonder?!

I know Nan misses us too, but somehow I think it is easier for her. She is back at home, with her family. She is back to school and working real hard at it. We are here, same house, same life, without Nan. We are Nanless.

We really enjoyed having her here while she was here. Showing her new things, and getting to know the wonderful person that she is. Seeing her play with Siobhan and teaching her how to draw. (Nan is an amazing artist!). Watching her hold little Diego and actually change a few diapers! Something she had never done before. Eric and I still think Diego misses Nan, we sure could use her here to hold him once in a while. But somehow once she left, that changed everything. It was so very hard to say goodbye. I had been in denial for days, thinking of it as one of her little trips and she will be back a few days later. Once we were at the hotel where we needed to leave her, no one wanted her to go. Of course there were tears, but I wanted to scream "Stay here with us, you don't need to go home!" Instead I told her I loved her, gave her a lot of hugs and kisses, something I did not give enough of while she was here. All of us had a hard time with her leaving. The house seemed so empty without her. Krystal's room suddenly felt too big being in there by herself. Siobhan, well she missed her the most.

So, now it has been a couple of months since she has gone, and I don't think a day goes by that Eric and I don't talk about her, think about her, or wonder how she is doing. It is amazing how someone can come into your life for such a short time and change it forever. We will forever remember her in our home, our other daughter. She will always be welcome here and we really hope that she will return. I told her we would love to have her move back in and we meant every word of it.

We may be Nanless in our home, but we will NEVER be Nanless in our hearts. We love you Nan and we miss you so much!